Friday, February 22, 2008

Memo

To: The Katz

From: The Management Partnership fka Mommy and Daddy

Re: The Rules

To Whom It May Concern:

It has come to the attention of the management that there is some inequity in the day to day operations at the location commonly referred to as : " The House." This memo is an attempt to clarify some of the salient points in hopes of future harmony and good will.

1. Food: We buy it, you get it . This is a structured plan and is widely considered generous when compared to other companies. We strive for variety and are vigilant in our pursuit of quality and overall food safety. Food is not however a toy, home decor item or bargaining chip. We agree that there are times when the item does not agree with delicate feline digestion and is returned to point of sale . We only ask that it not return to the management via the bed, comforter or fresh bed linens. When you as the katz can embrace the policy of laundry, this issue will be revisited. Furthermore, " treats" are a reward, not a Bast given right . You would do well to remember that many katz in areas such as China do not get the above mentioned treats and have far poorer diets than you enjoy. Do not abuse the treat option .


2. Toys: You have a generous selection . You have a basket full of toys. Makeup brushes, pens, pencils, lipsticks and so on do not fall in this category . Toys also do not need food or water, nor do they need a bath. Soggy, smelly , icked up toys will be removed by management. In addition, fingers and toes are not toys. Putting the bitey on management is expressly forbidden. Putting the bitey on each other is not an issue for management within reason. If management has to employ the PTU and a trip to the Vet, the above sibling bitey issue will be suspended and corporal punishment is immediately mandated.

Further memo's to follow as needed.

The Management Partnership fka Mommy and Daddy .

Monday, February 18, 2008

Adventures in Shopping - NOT

Today was a complete waste at the office , considering it was a holiday we did not get....ahem ..power that be please note....we did NADA.... guys...zip..zero ziltch.

Just Sayin n All.

NOTE:

Um..if any of the dear readers are of the male persuasion..leave now . Go grab a beer, the remote or what ever. SU doesn't count, he lives here in a casa where his gender is greatly outnumbered .

Onward .

I told the SU that I needed to trot over to Jacque Penny tonight after work..skivvies were on sale for me. I had the coupon in my lil fist, style number for bra's..I was locked and loaded . I didn't think that the Mall would be crowded and it mercifully wasn't. Off I trot to the proper dept ...only to discover that my favorite style had been re done under another label . Fine. I am a bright woman and can figure this puppy out. I had even recently been fitted at Dillards and contrary to most of us gals , was right on the money.

Wheee

Not so much.

I find a close aproximation..finally.

Bear in mind , I am a middle aged woman . I do not need the stripper model . I dont need prints, lace, spangles, froo froo or deployable air bags.

I just need a new bra with straps that do as they are told. This is not a lot to ask in my opinion. Really..not a cosmic leap . I grab my usual size and go into the room of doom. This room I have been told has aspirations of growing up and becoming the dreaded 360 degree room that Stacy and Clinton use..rumors being what they are.

Crap. Okay fine, I need a new size under this new label. Okey doke. Can do. After what seems ages, I find it sans clerk, which is not her fault, poor thing was the only clerk on duty during a bra sale for cripes sake, I felt she deserved a beer or a medal or a foot massage at least.

Huzzah..not so much.

Out of eleventy eight bazzillion bazzonga holders on display..they ONLY have two in my size..the generic most popular cheerleader who blows the whole , entire football team size.

TWO.

Dos.

Panties a plenty ala Jockey...no problem.

Bras?

I need a bra that will keep the wonder twins more in the range of my ear than my elbow, and I am aware of the effects of gravity. MY desired size doen't require 3 inch padding..middle age has taken care of that quite nicely, thank you very much.

By now, I am hot, tired and just want out of the maze.

The two things I hate to shop for more than anything on God's Green are jeans and bras. When I find a pair of jeans that are the proper length, I have been known to ask the gals at Dillards how many pair they have for this size and style..I have been known to buy them all on the spot.

I told SU that one of these weekends ,I am going to go to Dillards and take the time to find what works..that I like, sale or not and buy more than 2 friggan bras.

I won't go to Vickies..I refuse to pay $50.00 for a full coverage bra..and if they are on sale..( ROTF..like that's gonna happen) ...my size pffft.

Why is something so damn'd simple so friggan hard ??

Anyone ?

YOU..in the back...?


Have a good week.


Ciao,

Aunty Pol

My Oh My ..Oh MY

It always amazes me ........ The amount of censorship our local paper feels the need to maintain........since they are in fact the only game in town . I have never personally been fond of being in a one paper town for any reason , much less living there ...... and the local broohaha over F'd up Chuck is just the latest in a series of " WTF "?

I read a lot of local blogs for a variety of reasons. For the most part , because they are either so damn clever, well written or just flat out step up and say what needs to be said. Often my reasons are a combo platter of all three.

One of my local favorites is by a man by the name of Lawrence Simon. Funny dude. Cat parent, Bread Master and all around good guy. I may occasionally disagree with an opinion or two...but hey..this is a democracy and so forth.

In a recent post , Lawrence threw up a link to the Statesman..the paper of choice in Austin for you Tourista's. One of the key points in said article is the disclosure that the Chuckster got his meds from his very own Marcus Welby. Good for you , Chuck. Kept your sorry ass out of certain wards didn't it ? Bitter much..oh yeah..Just ask the Ibarra's.

Now this is where it gets good. Seems Chucksters Doc in the Box is none other than........wait....wait....wait....



Sam Seigler.

A Yup.

Hubbs of Kelly Seigler .

Who works for the Chuckster .

And wants his job.

" It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all. "

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Irony..I'd laugh but then .

I have found that as I have gotten older, I have become more selective as to what I share..throw out there to the masses as it were.

Trust issues...oh hell yeah. I have learned the truely hard way the fiction of that. I no longer post here , or anywhere else some things. I no longer burden friends with a lot of what matters to me. For those closest to me...they already know. As for the others..it's just not appropriate...and I do not wish to give them a free pass to sit in judgement.


The irony is thus.

I am in a situation right now where the irony is that the only person who I would bring it to or I think might understand has been long gone..27 years gone.


Damn It Mother..this really sucks..I could have used your help right now.

Yeah.

Me asking for your help and insight...


Irony.


Ciao

Aunty Pol

Monday, February 04, 2008

It's 2008 ~ Lets Get Our Rant ON

SIGH.

We had to go to Kroger tonight, the larder had cobwebs . The kittehs were fine. The Beans needed a provision run . And it's been one of those Mondays..after stoopid bowl . We got home about 10...in tact, but dear..some one had to clean the tarte pans so that the princesses and their brudders did not snap to the fact that there was a chocolate residue....good for us , not so much for them . And I Know that you are still adjusting to the braces so you uudies hurt..yeah....welcome to my world dude .

Moving On........

So there we are. I usually give him the list , the coupons and my atm. This time I wanted to go in as the whole chiggins were on sale for .69c per lb..too cheap to pass up but I still gotta look.

We hadn't locked the car before we saw some young Momma...Ms Thang...2 kids in the buggy..third beside her hanging on to the handle...hopping his lil ass off on one foot........and her ass is on the cell phone.

HANG UP AND PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR CHILDREN BIOTCH.


Three minutes I promise you we are in the store and .." Honey...wait....you hear that ? "

Indeed...it was the migration of the Howler Monkeys.



RUN

Run Faster

Run Some More.


WTF is wrong with you people ?

You have no concept of proper public deportment..look it up.

My mother , like you , was a single parent for long stretches , and the worst was..Daddy was deployed so she did it all. When she went to the store, or commisary that was the time she could call her own . Peace and quiet. Either the Gablers, Carrie and Earl...or Cindy Bassone ( before the divorce from John ) or Betsy Ostereicher or the older Brown sister babysat. There was always someone to tend the kids.

And don't tell me Miss Thang, that you don't have someone to do that.

That is bullshit .

And if we ever dared to act up that way..well..you would have to pray that the drive home was longer than it was . Mom would never address it in public if we acted up..much less Daddy...if he was there, but BY GAWD..you got the look.


You have no concept of how inept you look, how pitiful the social skills , if you in fact understand the concept...that you are showing those babies.

You get what you raise...and I would like to feel sorry for you but..you made this choice.

Hang up and be a PARENT , you Troll.

Rant over

Ciao

Aunty Pol

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Ah...Chocolate

For once it looks like we are goign to have a lovely weekend weather wise. It's going to hit 70 degrees at least today which if nothing will help my sinus's clear up .When you are prone to sinus problems, the worst of all is the stomach issues with drainage, and any one who also suffers knows exactly what I mean here so I am not going to elaborate. Consider yourselves fortunate. I hate missing work for this kind of thing , but...it is what it is.


It appears that the plumbing demo is not going to be quite as bad as I had imagined , thank you Jeebus. I am a glass half empty sort of gal, I know how awful that sounds, but if you imagine the worst and prepare to deal with that , you are prepared . If it's not that bad, hey..you WERE prepared for the worst so it's all good. I am grateful that we have the Moron to take care of all of this for us , we can just leave him a key, and he will do the rest. Now, it he just knew heat and A/C , ...but that is another story. I love owning a house...yes indeedy I do.


Mardi Gras was a hoot. You have to live down here to understand how important this is to all of us. We have beads out the wazzou and an invitation to ride on the Choctow ( sp) float next year..OH Hell Yeah ! We both took some of the beads into our respective offices, there are a couple of people with young daughters ..and we all know how much little girls like to play dress up , nuff said . The King Cakes went in record time, Antiones in Gretna is the ONLY place to get them from and I am sure that they have them on line, so if you ever feel the urge for nummy , sugary brain blowing Bliss...there ya go.

I woke up this morning to the house smelling like a complete chocolate factory...the good kind. The yakers are having their annual super bowl party and so hisself made two different kinds of chocolate cheese cake...it will be fun.


Have a great weekend.

Ciao,

Aunty Pol