Happy Friday ~ Bruce Of The Day ~ !

Ah, the last day of May.
Or as I call it , the day before all of the local weather wonks get all " When In Danger , When In Doubt, Run In Circles, Scream And Shout ! "..because tomorrow is the official beginning of hurricane season.

Now, don't get me wrong, we do take this very seriously. Ike taught us all that. Southside Johnny got all freaked out when he first moved here at the idea of hurricanes. I don't think he remembers any of Camille when we were living in Virginia Beach, we weren't on he water , so for us it was just a huge ass storm. I found it ironic that a guy who lived in San Francisco and death with no warning earthquakes would be so freaked out about hurricanes.

We track them. Usually we don't become concerned until late August , unless the Gulf waters have stayed unusually warm.....and this may be another one of those years. We are supposed to hit temps in the  mid 90's next week and by that  I mean a forcasted 96...okay that is upper , not mid to the weather wonks..just sayin.

Anyhoo ,  SU and I always thought that since we are approximately 65 miles or so from the island that we would really not have more to deal with than a lot of rain. Then Ike hit.

Ike came straight up the ship channel and stomped the northside..hell...he stomped the whole area.

So we have our basic plans and over the next few weeks we will stock up on stuff.

At least this year , if we have to leave, we can afford to do so...I just hope it doesn't come to that .


Have a great weekend.

Ciao,
Aunty Pol

And The Debate Continues ................

A co-worker gave me an article in today's WSJ to read about PW.

Yes..PW....Pioneer Woman...aka Ree Drummond.

I read it, and me being me followed some of the links to other sites....and am still LMAO .

Full Disclosure Dept:

I am a member of PW's Tasty Kitchen site. I have both of her cookbooks,  plus the autobiography such as it is  and have watched her show on the Food Network.


That being said, the woman can still ignite a firestorm without lifting her pinkie.

I originally liked her premise on the PW blog. The format was bright and colorful with easy to follow recipes that seemed to fit that niche between Bon Appetit and Spam. It was cute..it was fun...and none of it made me feel bad because I didn't have a room dedicated to crafting or cookery like Martha Stewart. It was and still is relate able to many people .I took it for what it is, not what it is presented to be. NO ONE in their right mind after viewing her kitchen in the Lodge will be beguiled into thinking that she is a simple accidental country girl if they look closely at the now remodeled Lodge kitchen . I also have a Bosch dishwasher thank you very much , and bought it on sale....Ree's got 2 , plus a range and double ovens to die for.

And this is where the backlash that I have seen/read begins.


1. She's changed...she's more interested in the TV shows production values.
    MAYBE..but she never started out positioning herself as Granny Clampett . She married a CATTLE
    RANCHER and ask anyone who was or is in any agricultural format ( Shout Out To Sistah Here ) ...if
    you want to stay in business, you have to be able to make a buck or 3 and be smart enough to know how
    to keep some it to maintain the business.

2. She has help...faker..
    OKAY..now I can kind of get behind this . She has 4 kids that she home schools and the ranch has help.
    Were we supposed to assume that she did it all ? Why because she over uses the phrase " Just Keeping
    It Real " every 30 seconds or so. If she has help or assistants, then she should say so . There is no shame
    having /using outside help if you can afford to .

3. She plagiarizes recipes.
    I can't address this because I am not personally aware of any instance of this that I have read on her blog
    linked sites.

4. Her cooking skills are average at best.
    Um....who is to say who is average and who is elite ? Yes , there are a couple of glaring mistakes that
    are real potential health hazards like reusing madinade that rraw meat/chicken/pork has been in...
    WTF >>>OMG..if you are driven to do that , BOIL the marinade for at least 20 minutes and be sure
    to throw any left over out.......OR MAKE ENOUGH MARINADE IN THE FIRST PLACE SO YOU
    CAN HAVE SOME IN RESERVE. Some of us are still a bit skitty kitty about certain recipes and need
    all the help and or photos we can get our hands on. THAT'S HOW WE LEARN !!!



Yes, her show is a bit more polished and therefore less genuine than it was before..she's in a business where she is the product whether she wants to recognize that or not . She must draw and sustain a viewership in order to stay on the air and in print.

She's A Business Woman Y'all.

She never really tried to hide this .

Some of the naysayers were twitterpated because as one person put it, " I was invited out to the ranch and it seemed as if she had never read my blog and had no idea who I was . " ...Okay..not knowing much about a guest..? Rees bad on that one. It is common courtesy to have some idea of what  your new guests back round is , and by that I mean children or not..not a criminal check . You know..good manners and all.
At the same time, the miffed guest to the ranch clearly came across as if she expected to become Ree and Ladd's BFF for life which is creepier still. So all in all ,  the would be stalker doesn't have much of a leg to sand on here other than a hosts inability to make them as a guest feel more comfortable.



Ree Drummond's blog and related sites are business tools. Her success does not require her to justify it much less defend it. Yes, it is slick and has gotten a bit shallow, but it has never positioned itself realistically to be more than what it is...a product .

Don't be disappointed if something you took at face value turns out to be less than you assumed it to be . You have the right to be disappointed if this is the case, but you do not have the right to be ugly about it. NO ONE MADE  you drink the Koolaide, did they ?


And  for the record  ...I still watch her program , if there is a featured recipe that is not in one of her cookbooks that I own and regularly use. I just don't deify her .

Ciao,
Aunty Pol

OMG ~ Cutest Shoes On The Planet ! ~

OMG !

Cutest shoes on the planet and the coolest shoe box.

On sale at Zulilly !

Mine !

BAM !

A Giddy Aunty Pol

Happy Friday ~ Bruce Of The Day ~ !

Happy Friday y'all.

I know , I haven't posted anything in a week, but for good reasons......really.

There hasn't been anything going on at Casa de Swamp worth writing about.
And I am enjoying the hell out of that fact.

All this week, we've gotten home, done the usual...change clothes, feed the kids and I for one have made a bee line for the deck , beverage and kindle in hand. I am amazed at how much I rely on the peace and quiet after a hectic day at the firm. The gals wander over and that is fine, we sit and chat as always but over all , it's my "me time". I've so far this week managed to polish off the 4'th Dannika Dark book, " Gravity" ( urban paranormal..Lisa..check her out...you would love her .)  the latest Spenser for Hire  ( RIP Mr. Parker, your work carries on ) and am half way through Dan Browns " Dante's Inferno." That damn book is good enough to make me want to read the original by Dante again...then I have Wolf hall and it's sequel lined up....

Other than that, all is good. SU will be in Brenhem for the annual crawfish boil and then next weekend he is going to meet up with Southside Johnny in NOLA which Oh hell no I am not going..I may be crazy but I am not insane.

I'm gonna be a slug this holiday and other than trying out a couple of recipes one old ( orange yogurt quick bread which can be found on the blog Pinch My Salt if you google Orange Yogurtt Bread  ) and one new one ( home made Vienetta..yes..a blast from the past and also can be found on Christy Jordans Southern Plate blog ) ...there is nothing other than the usual to lay claim on my time....laundry and so forth.

Life is good.

Stay safe.

Ciao,
Aunty Pol

Happy Birthday To The Spousal Unit And The Squirrel

Happy Birthday to two of my favorite men.
Beers on me dudes.

Slainte,

Aunty Pol /Wife Unit/ Squirrel

Happy Friday ~ Bruce Of The Day ~ !

Brace For Impact !

I was delighted to see that a blogger that I consider a gal pal , even though we haven't actually met posting  again after a long dry spell.

She always makes me actually laugh out loud and we share a love  for pocket dragons, sarcasm and life's absurdities when dealing with the public. We calls 'em likes we sees 'em .

She prefaced her latest post by saying that it was a rant, she knew she might offend some readers but what the hell. Her posted opinion was one of her own, just a personal opinion  ,  regarding how sick to death she was about the endless parade of wedding plans shared ad nauseum where ever she turned . Then there are the babies, ultra sounds and the expectation of others that she fall into the blissed out state that is some requirement of our gender when one is breeding.

I completely get it.

Thirty nine years ago , I lost my children David and Elizabeth .  That damage will never completely heal . After that I had a few more miscarriages until finally by the age of 31, I had a medically approved hysterectomy. A few years later, to my delight I remarried. I never anticipated doing so but fully recall the avalanche of heart breaking questions...enough to generate some well fueled anger. SU and I eloped and it was thrown in my face that because of that , I was not entitled to any sort of shower , even though up to that point I had gladly participated in other events when invited. I guess I knew my "co-workers " opinion when they went so far as to post a Dear Abby " column supporting their position on my desk....and them resumed to plan yet another shower for a bride who ELOPED . After a while, those who knew of my sterility ,  began to breed and thought if I just held their spawn ( AND NO..THIS IN NO WAY APPLIES TO MY SWEET PEA, YOU WILL HAVE TO RIP HER OUT OF MY ARMS....) I would get over it. This is the other side of how my gal pal was treated...we are either abnormal because we don't want children or abnormal because we can't have them. For some it's a choice, others not so much. But it's our lives .My gal pal may feel however the fuck she wants to because it's her right and her life. I will defend that to the bitter end. I may not always agree with some ones opinion but I will fight tooth and nail to make sure that they have the opportunity to have said opinion.

Some of us can't have children. Others , like my gal pal don't want them.And yet , she has been made to feel less than human because SHE WON'T DRINK THE KOOLAID .

I don't give a flying fuck in a rolling donut what anyone else says once they get to ..." But....But...surely you don't mean that ..give it time.....yada yada yada fishcakes. part as if she is simply confused by her feelings"

It's her blog and she can write what ever she wants. She was  , and is aware that she has been gone for  a while ( HER BUSINESS Y'ALL) and went so far as to be open about needing  to rant.

It just pisses me off that some one I have come to respect has been made to feel less than human for stating her own opinions.

FUCK 'EM.

Aunty Pol

Oh Noes !

http://www.khou.com/community/Beloved-Montrose-restaurant-Cafe-Adobe-announces-closing-date----but-it-will-be-back-206298831.html






We all loved Cafe Adobe.
Wah !
Best Mango Margaritas in town.
Beat the hell out of Cyclone Anaya's.

It was the kind of place you wanted to be on an early spring afternoon..as some one was often heard saying...." Hey Sarge, feels like a Cafe Adobe afternoon...". Not that I know who that astute individual might have been   , much less who this Sarge person was.

It was perfect for people watching , especially on a Saturday afternoon .At one point  some of us wanted to make up Olympic style score cards because we were quite adept at judging some ones choices in attire. And the parking issue is legendary . As in there was none if you got there at a certain point. We coined the phrase " Suicide Shimmy" as we would watch people scamper  from their car to the patio...and I must say , that name in more way is intended to malign, insult or belittle anyone whose life has been affected by suicide. All y'all should know that after 7 years but I just wanted to be sure.If you are offended after that statement..buh bye .

Anyhoo...

It wasn't fancy but the food was good and some day I will remember all of my 40'th birthday on the upper deck. Lesson learned : Never tell Headcase you aren't doing tequila shots even if it is your birthday because he will figure out a way to get you to do it anyway.

Oh well, the end if an era...which is just as well because I am too old to be doing that shit anymore .

Fer Real.

Ciao,
Aunty Pol

Huzzah !

Guess What ??!!!!???

We got sprouts !

Progress will be updated .

Ciao,
Aunty Pol

Just Another Manic Monday

Ah, it's that time of year,,,,,Summer law clerks.

We only have three of them this year and damn, they are just so bright and shiny ( LMAO ) it makes your teeth ache. I actually have shoes older than them . As they go through their orientation with the managers, walking around the floor , the give off their best baby duckling imitation....run Bambi run.

The powers that be will do what has been tradition since Christ was a corporal  . They will wine them and dine them and give them research papers to Lexis/Nexis till the cows come home. The lazier of the associates always look forward to their arrival because they are confident that they can foist off some long over due, tedius project that a partner or two has been screaming for. I've seen this too many times to not be 100 % correct in my predictions..

Children , just remember , if the firm makes you an offer.....do not come down with a case of first year in practice-itus . We all know the symptoms..entitlement, rudeness, bad people skills and the general attitude that you are better than any and all of the staff.

Heads up...you ain't .

Yes, you may make the big bucks and get all of those lovely bonuses but you are also working 80 hour weeks.

I on the other hand , work for much less and have a life.

Heh !

Ciao,
Aunty - " You Will Fear Me  " - Pol

Happy Friday ~ Bruce Of The Day ~ !

Well, it was a happy Friday..

Aunty Pol is verklempt.

USA network announced today that season 6 , starting June 6'th will be the last for " Burn Notice."

I may have to wear black for the finale. What am I going to do without my weekly " Chuck Findley " fix ?
What a world, what a world.  Well, as Bruce would expect , I shall bravely soldier on .
WAH !

Other than that , it's been another ho hum week here in H town . We  have had some much needed rain which we lave a love hate relationship with but if it will help wash away the damn'd pollen, I for one will be grateful. Everyone, and I mean everyone is suffering to some degree with it right now so we are a sad little lot ...too think headed to be testy and simply trying  to endure.

In other news, it seems that season 11 of " Top Chef" will take place in one of our favorite cities , New Orleans so I will be intrigued to see Emeril's reactions to all of it on his own turf. It may get fugly down in the Quarter...bwahahah.

There are a lot of things I need to do this weekend, some I won't get to so it should be what passes for normal...lol..

Have a great weekend.

Ciao,
Aunty Pol

Well.....I Have Empty Hangers Dagnabbit !

Even before  I had ever heard of the Red Hat Society , I have always loved reds or oranges together with purple.
Weird , I know but there ya have it .

I used to have , back in the ..gasp....80's , a red skirt suit that I wore with a purple blouse about the color of the purple amethyst shown above...and red heels of course.

And yes, I have red hair. Dark red hair .


I have been recently looking for some more linen blazer style jackets from my usual suspect Chadwicks and there are a few contenders , but luckily for me, I still have a peach colored jacket that works well with a same color tank top , ( modest with the proper undergarments thank you very much employee guidelines ) , beige twills and heels..always with the heels.

The  amethyst , carnelian and garnet earrings and necklace were purchased off of Etsy back in February and just broken out when I reclaimed my dressing table...I almost forgot I had them..and then....or there is the pearl and amethyst copper bracelet...decisions.....decisions....

I found this scarf on Etsy so of course I had to have it.

One scarf = One new outfit !

And I think I have a light purple top in the closet, if not Tar Jay here I come.

Don't laugh..their Mosscino and Merona wonens and tanks are great and wash/pack like a dream.

Looking good does not take a butt load of cash..only a lil imagination.

Now...go shop !

Ciao,
Aunty Pol

The Current Experiment At Home

This past weekend SU had some errands to do before the garage  dude came over to replace a door so since he was going to Lowes, I asked him to get a couple of big pots so that we could transplant the lavender that had split  ( well, I thought it had , but since it did not I split the bastard anyway..mwahahaha) into 2 containers. The containers are so bit that they ate up a whole huge bag of potting soil, and yes it had gotten THAT big....
Anyhoo, I also asked him to get me some more Shasta Daisy's because  I love them dearly. Bless his heart, he looked all over at the Lowes that we got the first batch from, even going as far as to ask a clerk, ( good boy ! ) , Sadly , there was none to be had. WAH ! But...because he is smarter than the average bear, he had this idea...so.....we have a new experiment .

You would have thought we were hatching baby chicks the way we read the directions and watched as the pots absorbed all the carefully measured water..seeds were carefully tucked in and I will check on them tonight. I would have done so last night but the hip is  giving me fits so between that and the ozone/pollen, I was crashed out at 7: 45..I kid you not.

Hisself asked if this was the plan for tonight and I said semi..yes, as usual I am taping NCIS /GRIMM but I need to check on the plants and I need to stop after work tomorrow to get more potting soil. Tonight is the dry cleaners and that is a push since they close at 7..ramble much Pol ? LOL .

We are having our first dinner party since the reno /post Xena's illness on the 18'th and I really want to try to get all of the new plants in pots and that bit cleaned up. My yard guy Mr. Trejo did a wonderful job mulching and cleaning out all  of the flower beds but the deck is as much a room to me as any other in the house so that has to be tended to.

I will say this much. other than the OMG dusting, it is a hell of a  lot easier taking care of wood floors than before with carpet. And since the paint/trim/counters are all new and we are hyper aware of it, we are more tidy ( I hope ) than before. I am thinking about those Windex pump wipe dispensers for each of the bathrooms..we shall see and I will explain it to you at home dear.

And since you read this SU, there are a few things that need to be done before the party but they are simple and it will be as always....I clean and you do the prep work/cook.

Easy peasy .

Ciao,
Aunty Pol

Yes, This Qualifies As A Dessert ~ At Least In The Casa.

As much as I do so love to bake, SU and I are really not big dessert eaters  on a daily basis. Hisself is happy with a bowl of BlueBell . I would love to be able  to join him in this but..lactose....yeah.

If we have cookies, I might grab one and cupcakes are a given but more often than not I improvise. I consider it being green and all , not wasting food and nothing is worse than stale baked goods .

Improv Pastry for the win Alex.

Think about it.

After all , what is a dessert pastry ? A baked good preferably with some sort of filling.

All Out ? Never fear.

Do you have a toaster ?
Do you have sliced bread in your preferred format ?
Spreadable butter ?
Nutella ?

Then you my dears ,  have an improvised dessert pastry.

After all , is not bread baked ? Is not pastry baked ?

While a simple piece of bread may look like a croissant's inbred third cousin , take a piece of toast , slap some butter and then Nutella on it, fold in half if you like and VOILA !

You my friend have dessert in the time it takes to get through 2 commercials  during Castle.

Ain't life grand ?

Ciao,
Aunty Pol

OMG ~ ! I So Need To Make These ~ !

.Almond Joy Brownie Bites



Ingredients:

1 box of family size Chocolate Fudge brownie mix

1 (14 oz.) can sweetened condensed milk

... 1 (14 oz.) bag coconut

1/4 C milk

1 C chocolate chips, melted

1/4 C almonds (or nuts), crushed



Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line (regular size, not mini) cupcake pan with paper liners. (Don't skip the paper liners as they make stick).



Make brownies according to package directions and pour batter only half way up the liners.



Bake in preheated oven for 12 minutes. While they are baking, mix the coconut, sweetened condensed milk and milk together.



Remove brownies from oven and spoon on some sweetened coconut.



Place bake in oven and continue to bake an additional 14-16 minutes.



Remove from oven and allow to cool completely before removing the paper liners. Drizzle on the chocolate then sprinkle on the almonds.

I had to lay my head down after I read this recipe...I am so making these !

Ciao,
Aunty Pol

Happy Friday ~ Bruce Of The Day ~ !

Happy Friday Everyone !
NOW that I have gotten that out of my system ( pls to  see previous post ) , let's move on.
It is shaping up to be a glorious weekend here in H town ( Houston for those who wonder ) except that the f'g wind is out of control. And it's supposed to be cold . Lovely.

The timing is perfect since we got Mr. Trejo out to work his magic in the yard and it looks wonderful. The beds are mulched, cleaned out and tidy. Shrubs were pruned and the landscape timbers that needed to be replaced were..of naturally it won't be pretty enough to enjoy sitting on the deck.

Not much else is going on , hisself is hopefully going to be working on the bookcases that we need to get replaced so that we can haul stuff out of the storage locker . I'd like to get that bit started before the first dinner party on the 18'th ...yes...we are finally going to be able to have folks over again after too long a time. Everyone understands why we had to stop and now that the reno is done..wheee.

Other than that..I just want to sleep. I think that I may have some sort of bug..besides sinus crap I have a low grade fever and stomach issues that Imodium is not solving. Le Sigh.

Have a great weekend.

Ciao,
Aunty Pol

Rant Alert ~ You Have Been Warned ~ !

Okaaaaay.

Let's go over this again , you Stupid Mo Fo's.

When you call from the office and DO NOT LEAVE ANY SORT OF MESSAGE WHEN NO ONE PICKS UP....

1. Obviously your sense of self importance has taken up all the available space in your brain so the realization that you are an idiot is  deleted.

2. Blindly unaware at this moment that you are an idiot , you hang up, self assured that the recipient is so impressed by your specialness that even without the benefit of an identifiable message, the recipient  knew who called them because of course it can only be YOU.

IN OTHER WORDS , STOP CALLING PEOPLE AND NOT LEAVING A MESSAGE YOU SELF RIGHTEOUS MOUTH BREATHING ASSHATS.

QUIT IT .

BASTA !


I have just had 5 , count 'em.....5 calls in a row from folks returning a call to the firm and not one of them had any sort of identifier to help route the call.

I'M GOING TO REPEAT MYSELF AGAIN SO LISTEN UP.

The ONLY number that shows up on caller ID from our system is the central switchboard number ......also knows as MY FRIGGAN DESK YOU ASSHATS !

Yes dear readers , I am the senior legal receptionist for a mid sized law firm and have been putting up with this sort of shite for 31 years....THRITY ONE YEARS !

Exactly how pray tell am I supposed to assist the client /caller when they call back if they have NO FRIGGAN IDEA WHO CALLED THEM BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO FRIGGAN STUPID TO LEAVE YOUR NAME OR EXTENSION OR IN BAST'S NAME ..SOMETHING !!!!!

ALL Y'ALL REALLY ARE THAT STUPID , AREN'T YOU !

If I had the power , I'd not only revoke your phone privileges , I'd seize all your electrical devices/toys.


If I have an attitude it's because all y'all gave it to me...so I'm giving it back.

Aunty Pol

Back Pedal Much ?

I guess when you are famous you can back pedal when and where needed.

Case in point.....Ms. Whitherspoon.

Look, don't get me wrong. Humans make mistakes. We all do. Adults own up to it . Average people know that actions have consequences.

Unless you are a STAR .

Ummmm...I don't think so.

It's bad enough that you  lied about being pregnant ..as if that changes anything. Sorry honey, in the modern world, it is no longer custom that a woman may " plead her belly " ( Look it up ) to prolong evasion from punishment.

Worst of all ?

You are obviously shit faced and..claiming to be pregnant ?

Yes dear , in answer to your delicately put question " Do you know who I am ?"

You an just like every over indulged , entitled resident of Hollyweird despite your oft cited aims to not be " like the others."

EPIC FAIL KIDDO.

Luckily , tragedy has been averted.

It's not as if any real talent has been damaged, only the perception of actually possessing it.

Aunty Pol