Dear Favorite Shopping Emporium

Dear Favorite Shopping Emporium,

Where pray tell is my flatware ?
I know that you sent me a not that it had to be ordered from the vendor, but......
Where is it ?
I am trying to be a good woman and exercise some self restraint because of current events but it is becoming more difficult the closer my birthday comes.
I want the flatware.
I need the flatware.
My current flatware is wretched, to the point that it even embarrasses me to have the girls use it .
I have looked, high and low, hither and yon, across the vast entity known as the interwebs in search of something that I like and that SU would at least tolerate for my sake.
I know that you are not the Michelangelo pattern that I adore, and I am fine with that because at an average of $50.00 per place setting and we use them all ..trust me..I am not going to pay what is damn near close to two thirds of the price of one of the tickets to the Coast that I am hunting and would for damn sure cover the cost of reupholstering my chair....
I like this pattern, it is a mixture of harmonious designs that look like one had the time and or money to cruise up and down Royal Street in New Orleans antique hunting for silverware.
Sadly, I have neither .
Of course , it will come in when we are not there...
I'd better remind the girls.

Ciao,
Aunty Pol