From Sgt. A.P. Pants
To: Idiot
My Mother told me I could write this so I am going to tell you why I am hissed off .
My parents came home last night and gave us our stinky goodness and " Treats" and all was good.
I was on call according to the duty roster of perimeter patrol , and as I began to walk the quad..what did I find ?
SMOKE !
FIRE !
DANGER !
You being an asshole had decided that you needed to pile up a bunch of DRY pine needlesand set them on fire rather than actually move your lazy ass and bag them.
ALL of the smoke came into our Sovereign Nation.
The Empress was most displeased.
After an emergency meeting, it was decided that should you ever be this inept and stupid again we will be faced with no other choice but to call in the Hydration Department.
You are on notice SIR !
Sgt. A. P. Pants
Perimeter Security Liaison
Yes, the NUMBNUTS behind us decided to Burn Baby Burn, Disco Inferno last night.
Next time I will place the Wig Wag..oscillating sprinkler so that it goes from my yard ( Dude..what ? Sorry..yard needed water) over the fence onto the fire.
Did they monitor it..not really.
Am I pissed..OH HELL YEAH.
Ciao,
Aunty Pol
1 comment:
Ahhhh... honing those passive aggression skills, are we? ;-) On second thought, that's not honing, that's a natural. What. An. Idiot!(using best Hermione voice)
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