Its been three weeks now since the MIL was 911 to the hospital.
First thing.." Oh it will be 4 1/2 hrs in surgery..HAH !
They crack her chest and see that the pericarduim has collapsed against the heart itself.
All 5 valves are blocked.
Due to the amounts of previous cancer treatment...there is scar tissue on the heart itself.
They worked on three valves, the three worst I assume..and it's anyones guess from here.
She's in rehab now or Boot Camp as we call it and she is pissed.
You have to know her to know how bizarre that is.
Pop is worn out.
As are their kids.
In many ways , our sense of time has changed . A lot of other things have changed too..or have appeared to. I have gone through this with him and I find it interesting to see the change of roles.....The family member goes utterly bat frakkin shit...admitted or not. The other person must go into the sane mode. We have developed this strategy over 20 years and no longer are aware that we in fact do this. A few years ago on vacation, we had car probs and Hisself just lost it ( yes you did Dear...I have witnesses..!) I was the calm one going.." We can fix this...chill." One of us is allowed to freak out...the other must maintain . We trade off..it works .
This whole thing has blindsided us.
Real life discussions we all avoid are now common fodder.
Priorities that were concepts are now in place..
I find that I am not as apt to react to shit as I might have been. My boundaries are in tact, the people that need to know do. Others ...it's not really an issue I feel the need to inflict upon them.
I have learned over the last year the value of private space..and for that I am grateful . I have separated the fantasy from reality and I find I quite like it.
We're hanging in there.