Friday, May 27, 2011

Bruce Of The Day ~ Happy Friday ~

Happy Friday kids !

Since this is a holiday weekend , I decided to post the usual Bruce in his characters uniform.

Before we go any further, I want to address something.

It's Memorial Day soon.

No....I refuse , unlike others to lecture anyone on the proper way to observe the holiday. We are all adults and it is not my place in life to go off on a tirade about the purpose of the holiday , or the current military situation or the 2 wars we are currently engaged in.

There is quite enough of that all over the innertubes lately in one format or another and I am weary of people lecturing others no matter how well meaning they try to be.

I am the wife, daughter, sister and aunt of active duty personnel and veterans.

I am very proud of that.

Hopefully , whatever way you choose to celebrate the holiday or not if that is what floats your boat , is your business and one of the things that we are celebrating..the freedom to choose for ourselves.

If we can't be anything else, let's at least be respectful of others and realize that hectoring someone over this or any other topic for that matter is just not appropriate.

We were raised better than that after all.

Have a safe holiday, no matter how you choose to celebrate it ...or not for that matter.

Carry on.


Aunty Pol

The First Of Many To Come

Look who graduated Pre K !

I am very proud of you sweetie !

Your Granty J

Thursday, May 26, 2011

For Roger !

Had to do it.


Aunty Pol aka Duchess Polgara Moritani

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Half Way Being Halfway Through The Week.

# 1 Crepe Myrtles and Pink Hibiscus along the fence, geraniums and angelonias in the pots.

Yes, I know it is a crappy picture, but it is the actual back yard of yours truly so bear with me . I love my phone but the camera is iffy at best...and the light sucked...and I had a headache....and I needed more ice whilst out on the Patio..

I will get more pictures in here when I can.

It's half way through my Wednesday so I am halfway through the week on an upcoming long weekend. As usual, those who come into work on Friday will piss and moan about the fact that they are there , not realizing that they are not bright enough to have scheduled the day off. Others that come back from lunch will merrily wave at me as the glide out the doors about 2 pm.

I am here till 6 pm.

I will smile and mentally curse them as is my custom because I refuse to outwardly give any sign that their passive aggressive behavior is noticeable in any way .

And, as usual the Firm will let us begin to wear jeans to work every Friday so I got all of my 3 pair of jeans to the dry cleaners/tailors for alterations. You see I am barely 5 feet tall , and the standard inseam on women's slacks or jeans is 31 inches. My standard inseam is 27 1/2 inches. I measure these things . I also wear either a 2 1/2 or 3 inch heel almost every day, having cut back a bit on the heel height....LOL. SU damn near freaked out when he saw that I paid almost $40.00 to have the three pair of jeans hemmed .

These are not ordinary jeans.

These are " Not Your Daughters Jeans" and they start at $100.00 per pair on the low end.

Do I need to stop and go and get the smelling salts ?

Better ? Okay.

You see, while I love to shop , there are some things I hate to go shopping for other than anything that is not for me in some way.

I hate shopping for bras...but I know when JC Penny's has their sale and I know the style number of the Ambreille that fits me. I also have had a proper fitting and know what I need.

More that that, I hate shopping for jeans.

I am not 12 years old.

I am 56 years old and I have an ass.

I have curves .

I wear a size 16 and am not bothered in the least by it because I dress both age appropriately and very well , shopping anywhere from Chadwicks to Dillards and everything online or bricks and mortars in between.

I know the difference between style and fashion.

I need a jean that has for lack of a better work a crotch ( my late MIL used the word stride ) that is longer than 3 inches. I need a fit that is something other than the dreaded camel toe. I hate to tug on my jeans anywhere.

I need something that won't create more of a muffin top than I already have.

I need a dark wash boot cut.

I need something that I don't have to struggle to get out of when I've had that extra drink and then the urge to run to the powder room hits..we ALL know what I mean here ladies...oh yes we do !

So I decided that after talking to some ladies who are my age and more or less have my build...anywhere from a size 12 up...and hearing all of the raves and so on to take the splurge.

These jeans will be taken to the drycleaners. Thank Gaia I have one that is reasonably priced and close by.

You get to an age where you realize that some things are just going to cost more.

And you realize that you get to an age where you not only deserve it, you've earned it.

In all fairness, SU has never begrudged me anything, I think he was surprised that the jeans cost that much and that I actually paid it...but I'm like L'Oreale .

I'm worth it.

Hey y'all....send some rain it you can. It's too depressing to post the day count at this point.

Thank you !


Aunty Pol

Legally Sanctioned Cake for Breakfast !

I love the recipes and the photo's...the brightness of it all is sooo freakin cheery that it cheers me up on days when I need it rather than annoying the krep out of me...hey it happens to all of us , right ?

Anyhoo...Bridget grabbed my attention with the phrase " Legally sanctioned cake for breakfast." My kind of gal.

Can you tell I'm waiting to go to lunch ?


Onward to the recipe.

Triple Chocolate Muffins from Bake At 350 .

1/2 cup ( 1 stick) salted butter

1 3/4 cup ap flour

2/3 cup dutch process cocoa ( she recommends Hershey's special dark btw)

1 1/4 cup sugar

1 tsp. instant espresso powder

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp baking soda

3.4 tsp kosher salt

1/2 cup bittersweet chocolate chips

1/2 cup semi sweet chocolate chips

2 eggs

1 cup milk
2 tsp vanilla extract

2 tsp white vinegar

Pre heat oven to 425 degrees .

Line a muffin tin with paper liners and spray lightly with non stick cooking spray ( I use Pam)

Melt the butter and set aside to cool.

In a large bowl whisk together the flour, cocoa, sugar, espresso powder, baking powder, baking soda , salt and chocolate chips.

In another bowl whisk the eggs,milk, vanilla and vinegar until blended then add the cooled butter , stirring to combine.

Add the wet ingredients to the dry and mix with a rubber spatula until just blended.

Spoon evenly into the muffin liners, note..the cups will be very full.

Bake for 15 to 20 minutes until the muffins spring back when pressed with a finger, cool on a rack for 5 minutes.

Inhale while warm..I added that part just because it's what I do .

Heh..oh girls....I think I have brekky covered for the weekend.


Aunty Pol

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Yup..This Sums It Up Today


It's been one of those days where a small meeting turns into a huge one and the clients all act like they are the center ring at Barnum and know ..the clown car bit ?

Nuff said.

Aunty needs a beverage...STAT !


Aunty Pol

Monday, May 23, 2011

Happy Monday

Yep..pretty much.

At least it's not as bad as last week when I woke up at 2:30 am and could not get back to sleep. Of course I slept all the way home and crawled into the water bed. read it right......water bed.

Don't laugh, I'm so used to it now that I cannot sleep on a conventional mattress. And sheets...well that can be a nightmare in and of itself. The usual water bed sheets that they used to have at places like Superior Water Beds do not stay tucked in . SO you have to buy flat A fitted conventional sheet won't work, you end up having to cut the corners on the diagonal and then that crap frays like my last nerve when you wash it and you end up with sheets that are not good for anything except covering on sentence much ? Target is the only place that I have found single flat sheets ...Is Superior Water beds even still in bidness ? If you need a mattress pad or a new bladder or a new heater...thank Gaia for the innertubes...Even though it's a pain, I love my water long as I am willing to share it with the kids..who expand to fit the open spaces that are there no matter what their original size is.

All in all, it was a great weekend..I finally got the dining room and living room carpet cleaned and had a whole hour before Loki yakked up a hairball....ain't life grand ?

SU made it through Friday , taking his father out to dinner. I have tried to explain to him that some years will be rough and others less so but we got through the first anniversary of his mothers is what it is.

Still waiting on rain...sigh.

Say a prayer or two for those poor folks in Joplin..they surely need all the prayers they can get.

Have a great week !


Aunty Pol

Friday, May 20, 2011

Bruce Of The Day ~ Happy Friday ~

To quote Bruce : " WTF " ????

It's been a rather odd day.

First of all, lest I fergit...HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETIE ! As you said this morning , you are now closer t0 70 than to 60..but after thinking about that a bit , I have deduced that your math is somewhat flawed. Honey, once you hit 65 ( yeah....the property taxes roll into the estate) you are closer to 70 than 60..NOT 61. Oldtimers must be creeping up on ya......snerk.

And I got forwarded the strangest damn email ever.


A co-worker has a sister who had to have not one , but two liver transplants in December of 2010.

Ummmm....right. sister sent out an email to a chosen few here at the office today...and I quote:

"Some of you might know that my sister is a liver transplant patient. She had 2 liver transplants during the month of December , 2010. I am having a benefit for her on June 11 . I need a favor. If any of you have any liquor bottles, wine bottles that you don't like/want/need, can you pass them my way ? I'm making a liquor barrel basket to raffle off during her benefit and I need help filling up the barrel .Thanks and sorry for the interruption."


Irony much ?

Not to mention the inappropriateness of sending this to co-workers while at work during the business day.

I have nothing to top this one...seriously !

Have a great weekend.


Aunty Pol

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Well...This Bites !

Little Mirro, why are you doing this to Aunty Pol ?

Haven 't I treated you nicely ?

I haven't dropped you.
I haven't put you through the washer or dryer.
You have your very own little leather carrying case.
I haven't broken the part that makes you go flippy.
I haven't scratched you .
Your screen saver is the cutest picture ever of Andy Panda Pants.
I appreciate your easy to read screen and numbers.
I appreciate the contacts list and how easy you are to use to add important stuffs.
I appreciate how easy your voice mail is to use.

Why won't you charge ?

We tried both chargers..

Why ?


It never fails, I find the simplest way to do something or the simplest toy or widget ..and it f's up on me..spiteful creatures all.

I am no where as obsessed by gadgets as SU is ...but still.

I want my little phone to work...does not wants a new one !

Not to mention..yeah..more money out the door ?

Gonna be a long month.

At least tomorrows Friday !

Carry On !


Aunty Pol

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

May 18'th , 1980 , 3:30 pst.

I believe it was a quiet Sunday afternoon.

For some reason Doty had given me the weekend off from the Campus switchboard and I was in my cute ( TINY) apt in the brick 6 plex below the WSU power plant..probably watching tv.

The sky got dark, and at first I thought ..crap...rain.

It became darker unbelievably quickly and I noticed that outside my window, I swore it looked like snow.

I ran outside more curious than anything else , and realized that it wasn't wasn't snow and there was not one sound anywhere.

No birds.
No dogs.
No cats.
No insects.
No trains .
No cars.


Still not sure what the hell was going on, I wasn't afraid, and I went back in the apt to find my 2 cats, Msi and Oogie under the bed, as far back and as small as they could make their 4 and 5 year old selves be.

Then the Civil Defense sirens began to scream from the campus..all the louder for the fact that they were the ONLY sound to be heard.

This meant one thing...I had to get up the hill on foot ( my soon to be ex husband had the Vega station wagon in Walla Walla.) and get to work. The next few hours are a blur as we ran on pure nerves and awful break room coffee trying to figure out what was happening.

I found out that Mt. St Helens had erupted..and still , it really didn't register...Nothing registered except the panic on the other end of each phone call that I answered, from students , their parents and staff members. I cannot tell you to this day what Del Brannen told us to say much less what my supervisor added to it..if anything. You had to know Doty after all.

I can recall the Colfax county police cruisers blowing up because they didn't realize that the ash would clog the engines air filters..KABOOM . Their solution finally was to cut the hose part off of panty hose ( a spanx pre-cursor ) and fir the top over the filters.

I don't remember any embarrassment as I came home through the ash for what seemed like weeks on end and stripped down to my skivvies outside so that I could hose down my clothes and then myself. No one cared. We had to do this because the ash and the silica would clog and rupture the water lines and trash the washing machines.

I do know that the ash trashed the texture of my face and it has never been the same, but at my age ( 56)..middle age has other challenges and there is always a facial out there with my name on it.

My mother of course was beside herself, not quite getting that it wasn't in my back yard. Thankfully I have not inherited her geographical sense of proportion...and know there was a bit of distance between the Mt. and Pullman , Washington , even if she didn't down in Daly City, California where she lived. Looking back now, it was funny...back then , she just irritated the living hell out of me.

Oh yes you did mother !

Every year Sistah and I watch the clock on this day and remember.

What a life.


Aunty Pol

Miscellanious Things In My Head Today

The above adorable kitty is CC or Copy Cat who is the first surviving feline clone ever. This lovely little lady lives in College Station , Texas in a forever home with human parents, a mate and their babies. Everyone is fixed as needed and they rule the roost. I have nothing against the whole idea as a concept but it's frankly not my cup of catnip. These pictures were in today's paper and just make me grin all day long which is a good thing as it's been one of those.

I've been awol for the last few days because while it is rare for me to have the time to blog on the weekend, Monday and yesterday, for whatever reason, there was just nothing interesting enough to blog happens.

I am going to miss Miss Anne's blog, " The Adventures of Calamity Anne ". She has been a go to every day for three years, and I do understand that she is trying to get her Etsy shop " The Chunky Mermaid" off the ground. She does wonderful shabby chic decor and if you have been around here long enough , you may recall that she did those wonderful tile coasters that I use every day and night . Go check her out on Etsy, tell her Aunty Pol sent 'ya !

Things I don't give a rats ass about this week:

1. Anything having to do with Arnold and the whatever the hell he's done now.I refuse to sit in judgement of someone I have never met...nuff said there.

2. Now much Mitt Romney has raised for his re-election campaign. Ditto Newt .

3. Giving cosmetic procedures as high school graduation gifts. Not my child, not my money.

Things I do care about this week:

1. Rain..please ..!

2. How SU and his family are coping this week.

3. My stepmothers condition and over all health.

Other than that..slow week. The kids are all fine thus far , even though SOMEONE decided to urp in the dining room. Xena has also decided to wake her daddy at 3:30 am aka oh dark thirty for brekky...good luck there sweetie.

Season Finales:

1. Castle : yet to see, recorded.

2. NCIS/NCIS-LA: DAMN and OMG DAMN ! Don't you dare kill off Hetty( Shadout Mapes ) Lange .

Series Finales :

1. Smallville: WAH ! I may never erase that ...oh Bo Kent , I will miss you and the Magnificant Bastard !

Lastly the summer clerks aka Baby Ducks are all here now , all 4 of them and they are adorable...yes..they follow like baby ducks.

Have a great week.


Aunty Pol

Monday, May 16, 2011

Happy Monday

Happy Monday people !

It was an interesting weekend at times, and then there were the moments of " OMG !"

Yes, I watched " Smallville " but didn't see the first 18 minutes of it because someone ( Moi) was so convinced that she had in fact set the DVR to record this final show , that she never double checked it.

I know...say it with me :


Anyhoo, Saturday was no big shakes, the usual paws and claws for me and he worked half the day. Around 6 ish, Miss Cindy comes over to snag a glass of wine as she knows that being the good hostess that I am...I will keep your preference in wine on hand for just such a drive by..cause I was raised right. Shortly after that Miss Jeri Lee comes by with her beverage in the Ice House opened earlier than usual..again no biggie.

Then Crazy Kay comes over....Ruh Roh.

As many times as I have asked her not to , she brings a glass glass over with her containing her beverage to the Ice House . I have some very nice plastic glasses that are cute , functional and safe to use with adult beverages..but oh noes ..not for Kay. If and when she breaks one, it will be SU that lays down the law not me.

She then starts to say that she has a question and knowing her it could be anything. It seems that she is scheduled for some hammertoe surgery and has taken it to the point of getting all of the pre-op stuff done. Then she begins to ask us about recovery time and how is she going to be able to do her mile and a half daily walk with her cute but overindulged mini lassie breed dog Maddie. Then she starts to tell us about all of the horror stories that she has run across in the 'Net about this sort of surgery and claims that she has half a mind ( snerk) t0 cancel the surgery .I did nicely point out that you can't take everything on the 'Net as gospel and that there are a lot of attention whores out there putting stuff on line. She is by now going on and on and on and on until I for one want to I can't help myself...I just flat out tell her :

" Kay, you survived surgery to remove a brain bad can this be ?"

Yes Sistah, I did.

We called it an early night by 8:30 and I went to crash since I knew that I had a boatload to do around the house and I'm gonna do any of that after a nail appt..yeah right .

Besides..there was the promise of a Chuys run..wheeee.

But back to the picture.

Have you ever seen a movie so God awful that it is hilarious ?


" Blood Angels".

Some vampire movie that is sooo bad I am laughing my ass off at he nail shop while it is on the TV. It makes the flying bat scene out of " Love at First Bite " which I love btw look positively National Geographic-esque.

It's so bad you can't even make a drinking game out of it.

Have a great week.

Aunty Pol

Friday, May 13, 2011

Adieu Smallville

I am an unabashed fan of the show.

The CW has photo's of the series finale and they are spoilers in and of themselves so go view or not.

That being said , when it was good, it was wonderful, when it wasn't OMG..f'g shoot me now.

*** Warning ~ Adult language will be used here when necessary or just cause I want to . *****

The Bad ( Mini Rant Alert ) :

1. Lana " Chipmunk Cheeks" Lang. the pilot, she was the unobtainable girl, pretty, sweet, smart ( WTF ~ yeah , I know ) who was perfect as the ideal. She was never cruel to Clark when he went all Gooberville around her either because of her meteor rock necklace or because Clark got his social skills from the cows on the farm. On any show that you want to give a chance you forgive a lot and if and when it is renewed, you hope that the show will get better. In Lana's case, not so much. Miles, the girl cannot act. Exactly how many people did you have on the payroll whose job was dedicated to see if the girl had a pulse at any given time ? Really ? That Many ? Wow.

2. Pete. I have to applaud the fact that in Bumfuck..oops Smallville , Kansas they gave Clark a black friend. They treated him as any other friend..just that . Much like the fact that " Eureka" has not made an issue of Allison and Jack's interracial relationship, Pete and Clark are just buds. They avoided the " We gotta hang together bro cause we are "outsiders" in this quaint village bit and it was adorable beyond belief when Pete tried out for the football team in the pilot and the gear swallowed him. Typical teenager stuff at that age. But then they just didn't know what to do with him. It took a couple of seasons to learn that his mother was an attorney and they were having to move for her promotion. I always assumed that they were in some sort of Bizarro style witness protection system..Then when the buzz kicked in , the writers decided to bring poor Pete back as some bozo who is either pushing meteor chewing gum or is an addict to it or both. Nice. Make the brother a junkie, how original of you . And Pete is basically gone.

3. Chloe. I get the unrequited love/girl crush bit...hey I'm a girl too ya know ...but would it be too hard for anyone ( Bueller ? ) to let everyone just accept that the girl is flat out the smartest person in the room ? She was never mean or snide about it, or ashamed of was what it was. I thought at first that she was supposed to represent Lucy Lane, but nope..throw her a Jimmy Olson who isn't even the real Jimmy Olson ( Grr) so that the fans of the original comics will shut up and go " Shiney ". At least she and Ollie got married in the end.

4. Lionel Luthor. Stop making him be less than the Magnificant Bastard once and for all. He all but imitated Snidley Whiplash when he would rub his beard/chin ala twirl the 'stash. Having him court/STALK Mama Kent was just way too Merv the Perve for any one of us. He gave Papa Kent the " Oh Crap..the ticker" routine, that alone should have given Clark to authority to go all Jor -El on his ass.


6. Kara. Close enough, but did the little lady forget where the itsy bitsy under the cheese dome/trifle bowl lone surviving Kyrptonian city was ? GPS anyone ?

7. OMFG ~ ZOMBIES ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

8. Meteor Rock are Evil, Evil I say to humans . Excuse me ? Really ? Alert POTUS..we will be up range quick like a bunny.

9. Tess. WTF KIND OF NAME IS LUTESSA ? You name me Lutessa and I will leave on my own and go post haste to the happy shiney orphanage , no problem. Forget the carousel, I want friggan bars on the windows and deadbolts on the doors to make sure that your ass leaves me alone. Lutessa/Lunestra..I always got them confused. No wonder the chick was so OTR all the time. I'd be there too.

10. The Farm. Can anyone recall a harvest of any kind or a cow actually being milked ? Me either . Nuff said here.

The Good Parts :

1. Martha Kent . I loved, loved, loved the fact that they cast the original Lana Lang as Martha Kent. I have always had a huge girl crush on her as an actress and as an extra bonus, they made her warm, smart and gave her some balls. Go Mama Kent.

2. Johnathan Kent. Bo Duke. Nuff said.

3. Showing respect to the original movies. Using Christopher Reeves ( dude , you are sooo missed ) and Margot Kidder ( stay on the meds honey, they seem to be working ) was tasteful, respectful and dignified. I can forgive a lot because of this.

4. The Fortress Of Solitude. Perfect.

5. Perry White . Michael McKean was a good shot and it was cute to see him act with his wife.

6. The Daily Planet Building/Logo . Again..showing respect...nice touch.

7. Hawkman . Okay..I am totally biased here but using Michael Shanks in a way that momentarily made me forget Daniel Jackson surprised even me.

8. Johnn Jones aka Martian Manhunter . Phil Morris, son of Greg Morris was again an inspired choice...and not to hard on the eyes either .

9. Brainiac . OMG..SPIKE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love James Marsters...OMG SPIKE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10.The powers that be had the sense to bring the iconic things in slowly. It was a brilliant move on their part to make us all wait and wonder when and if his powers would unfold. Also better still...they showed Clark/Kal-El having to learn to use them . They made him fail, practice and sometimes fail again before he got the hang of it. Do I think he will finally fly tonight ? Doubtful, but it would be the perfect surprise at the end of the series.

Last But not least:

THE BLUR ?????????????????????????????????????????????

THIS was the best you could come up with ?

Shame on you !


Aunty Pol, aka occasionally rabid fan gurl.

OMG - Who Knew Disney Could Predict The Future ?

I ran across this on a friends FaceBook page and had to share ( now that Blogger is FINALLY back up) because it is both freaky and hilarious at the same time.


Aunty Pol

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Friday Eve

I have ranted in a previous post , and found a killer mac recipe over at : , and since tomorrow is Friday..I'm in a pretty good mood.

We actually got a trace amount of rain between 5 and 6 pm.

Thank you Gaia.

I was sooo thrilled that as soon as I changed and fed the kids, I made a beverage and went to go sit on the patio.

Screw dah skeeters.

I must have sat there for 45 minutes with the latest David Austin rose catalog , happier than hell . You have to understand that we have not had more than a half inch of rain since January 25, 2011...and while yesterday at my house would be considered a trace amount is the fact that it rained at all that almost melted my cold, ebil heart..almost.

Anyhoo...I'm thinking that we need some cupcakes in dah house so since he is playing golf this weekend...

Now the top picture is from a site called : and the actual product is called " Cup - a Cake " .

I love cupcakes.

I love making them, piping icing on to them, adding sprinkles...I blame that last bit on the fact that " My Little Pony " was after my age group...and lets face it..yes..Trolls are cute..( Sistah, has Buster left the Troll by the den door on the side table alone ?) ..Trolls and cupcakes and or cupcake decorations in the same sentence is just f'd up


Have a great Friday !


Aunty Pol

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Ok...This Will Make Me Smile All Day !

Rain : 105 days since a soaking rain , 43 days since any measurable trace amounts.

I can't help it..this made me laugh my voluptuous ass off.

I think I need this as a tee shirt.

Truth be told, I think that the lil darlings have been basically saying this in real life anyway because they sure know how to give the " Where the hell have you been , you're 2 minutes late serving us dinner " look.


I am quite proud of myself.

As soon as the lil darlings got fed , I threw in a load of clothes, cleaned the kitchen, hoovered everything but our bedroom ( SU got that bit) ...swept and cleaned their bathroom floor, did another load of clothes and got all of that done in 2 hours.


To be fair, we have no human children, so there are no dinners to be done, bathes to be had or tucking to be in'd. I know for a fact that all the Mommy's and Daddy's out there have more pressing time frames so I don't want anyone to think that I am bragging or being a bitch...this is just the on going saga of a middle aged woman whose plate is too full....aka all of us out there .

I did as is my custom dvr both of the NCIS's and managed to catch the salient points.

Spoiler Alert:

They killed off Mike Franks ! Damn Them ..I really liked the way he could put "his " probie in his place..

I even caught all of the new " Body of Proof" , and it had a nice surprise too.

Tonight is scrubs night..sigh . Hopefully that will change soon because SU ordered 5 new sets of Dickys Scrubs from Jacques Penney but due to a snag on his part resulting in half the order being the wrong hopefully will be in this weekend.

I know it sounds minor, but mid week laundry just bugs the crap out of me.

We are having some drainage issues with the washer and the density of the Dickys brand as opposed to the cheap crap his boss provided may be an issue, but I think splitting it into a load of tops and a load of pants on the weekend will work out. I could do one of the loads on Friday when SU is at his usual haunt...hmmmmm...mebbe a plan is hatching ?

I will have to check the plants again tonight and give the yard a bit of water..and maybe fold a load from the dryer tonight...but..

DAMN..I am a happy camper , and for once not feeling so overwhelmed by the second job.


Aunty Pol

Bob Marly ~ Thirty Years Ago Today !

Yep..I have " Jammin" going through my head, which besides the classic " No Woman , No Cry " is my favorite of Bob Marley and the Wailers.

For a very good article go to :

Ya Man!


Aunty Pol

Go Quick Like A Bunny !

Go quick like a bunny over to :

Check out tara's recipe..then drool...then look then drool.

I bet you don't even need a triffle bowl to do this but it really adds such panache to see it in all it's layered glory.

My voluptous ass is expanding as I am typing this...wheeeeeeeeeee!


Aunty Pol

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Twitchy Tuesday

Rain: 104 days since a soaking rain , 42 days since any measurable trace amounts.

The picture has nothing to do with anything..I just laughed my voluptuous ass off when I saw it.

Having gotten over the rant of yesterday...for the most part..I realized that part of my self diagnosed twitchiness is the fact that no matter how hard I try , either the yard looks fabu( take that you Nazi) or the house does.

If the patio is swept of pine needles and mulch ( my 2 long hair children are very much into the organic recycled statements) then the kitchen floor needs sweeping and moping.

If the plants are all trimmed in their beds...the carpets need to be spot cleaned or hoovered...or both.

If the roses are all dead headed, the bathrooms need cleaning.

If the watering is all done then the bedrooms and all if the furniture need to be dusted.

If everyone needs their miracle grow for their particular feeding, then there is not only a ton of laundry to be sorted, washed , folded and put away not to mention the various bits by dry cleaning that need to be put on real hangers and sent to their proper closets.

If someone has knocked over their water and or food bowl..there's a hairball and or bile on the wood dining room table so the culprit has to be located or better yet everyone gets their special yum yum treat ( Petromalt) and Old English needs to be applied to the wood stat.

Don't get me wrong, SU does a LOT to help..but it's getting busy with his golf ( thank you Jeebus for getting him back to playing every other weekend and out from under foot..he gets do too !) and his work and things on the schedule I am not the Lone Ranger here.

I used to be able to do it all by myself..I used to be a lot younger and thinner for that matter ..but's just not happening. I would love to be able to afford a maid again..and maybe in a few years that will happen but more than anything else other than the money, Xena's health issues are just too much to juggle with a stranger in the house , even on a regular basis.

I think the best thing for me to do is to just take one thing..LMAO..Lady Lisa..we've had this conversation recently , haven't we ?

Usually when I get out of the office and I work 8 to 6 with an hour lunch as my standard..I am just ..bleh.

Rather than make the excuse.." Oh shite..I can't do anything after I feed the kids and do the urgent cleanup as needed because NCIS is on...I can at least wash the kitchen rug and put some of the dry cleaning away on commercials.

A small something every night .

It's either a plan or I have lost it and frankly I am leaning more towards the latter than the former...after all...

This mornings mental music that I heard in my head when I woke up ( yes, this is normal for me , it's a subconcious clue from me to self on how I anticipate the carnage that is usual when you work for attorneys on a day to day basis) was....

Wait for it..


Don McLeans " American Pie " sung by drunken Japanese or Korean businessmen in a kareoke 2 am.




Aunty Pol

Monday, May 09, 2011

Happy Monday ~ RANT ALERT ~ Damn'd HOA

First, let me begin by saying that I mean no offense to anyone who has lived through the 1930's Dust Bowl crisis....though I seriously doubt any of my loyal band of readers are quite that old .

My mother raised me right y'all so I felt that had to be stated right at the start.

Buckle up kiddos..your Aunty is pissed off .

We are in severe need of rain down here folks.

The entire state of Texas is in a drought condition and they *(various talking heads) are referring to this as the " Fifty Year Drought".

They aren't kidding either.

When you approach the beginning of hurricane season and the weather wonks make the assertion that we need a small tropical depression in the Gulf , and NO ONE flips see my point.

Down here we have HOA's or Homeowners Associations and for the most part they do well enough..I won't tell you what SU calls them..

When you buy a house you have to agree to the terms that the various HOA's set forth , and failure to do so can mean in the worst case scenario that you stand a very good chance of losing your house..through costly and quite legal means.

Read that last bit again..I'll wait .

Generally they do a good job of making sure that everything is tidy and that no ones house is falling down .

Our annual fee is modest by comparison to some of the other areas..only $300.00 a year.

Fine and dandy..........until.

We get a letter this weelend from the Gestapo that states that we are in violation because they did a drive by and we have no grass in our front yard or in the strip between the sidewalk and the street.

Ahem..those with delicate constitutions may skip this next part.

BULL FUCKING SHIT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We have grass..and it's of the tan variety because we have had no rain.

FUCKING IDIOTS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I water..carefully and responsibly.

I am already dreading next months bill since we had to replace the water heater...yeah team..40 - gallons !

I was and am livid.

My next door neighbor Miss Cindy is on the board.

She chirped that out of the 800 houses in the subdivision, 184 or 185 got letters about the shabby appearence of their front yards.

Oh , that lifted my spirits !


So as we ( Cindy and I ) were out there yesterday ....watering....I put it to her :

" Cindy, if they start to ration water as we are all expect..what is the HOA going to do ? "

Her smug reply ?

" Oh WE ( the royal we by the way ) will pass an emergency exemption or ruling or what ever."

Praise Gaia..SHE GOT A LETTER TOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are doing the best that we can but Jeebus H...I have no desire for a $300.00 water bill......would you ?

The rant is officially over...I feel better and I do value Cindy as both a neighbor and as a friend..can we say awkward ?

Have a great week, regular insane postings will resume.

Ciao ,

Aunty Pol

Friday, May 06, 2011

Bruce Of The Day ~ Happy Friday !

A Happy Friday to one and all.

I hope everyone has wonderful plans for the weekend, and if you are a mom, step mom or mom to be..


If your mother is no longer with you..or your mother in law for that matter , and you can still hear her voice in your head ( whether you want it there or not )..and you can still recall her fragrance ( ok..the word smell here just seemed f'g wrong - lol) and the taste of her food...bonus yourself to the beverage of your choice and send me the check....and trust me, as someone who has worked food service before..I tip really least 20 % or more.

It's not about the cards ( take that Hallmark) or the gifts...yes..I said's about remembering that your Mama loves you no matter what and sooner or later you will fess up to her that she WAS right more often than you cared to own up to.


This will probably be another one of those weekends.

My Magic Eight Ball assures me of that by the way.

You've all met SU so to speak, right ?

I'll let you in on a little secret..SU is a gadget FREAK !

The man cannot have too many ipods, mp3 players ...whatever...and he has a real love hate relationship with his phone.

The man LUBS his phone.

HE has any number of apps, can text if he chooses and dammit...I had to tell him about angry birds.

My Bad.

The other night he forgot to charge it and when he discovered this , he plugged it in to the charger in its assigned place on the kitchen counter next to the Krups coffee maker.

The charger which has slipped into the open can of cat food, also on the counter with the charger and the Krups ( bidness end of course) and was now suspect as to it's future operational capacity.

The charger that is the only one that will also work on my $39.00 throw down that I bought at Target and can actually use with ease and enjoyment.

Yeah..that one.

Well , it seemed to he okay then he realized it was not fully charging.

Well shit !

So knowing that we can in fact ( What we ? ...I'm not the one who should have to pay to replace the charger...I didn't do it ) ..replace the charger..okey dokey..use the car one.

My charger is fine by the way, thanks for asking .

The car charger didn't do a complete job on the charge.

Well shit !

As he says , it's his POS phone.

Okay..maybe..but then again maybe if you (SU) hadn't bounced/dropped it on the floor more than once..yeah.

We think he has insurance on it so I guess we will see.

I plan on giving him the money to go to the Texas Beer Festival up in our neck of the woods tomorrow as an early birthday presnt.

The man loves his beer and loves to pontificate on various beers and how they are brewed.


I kid you not.

It starts at 1 pm so I will have some space away from hearing him bitch and moan and carry on about the phone.


You have 3 options:

1. Fix it.
2. Replace it.
3. Shut the hell up about it.

Have a great weekend..and if you don't mind..could all y'all do a tiny rain dance for us here it Texas..its bad here...really bad.


Aunty Pol

Thursday, May 05, 2011

Happy Cinco de Mayo

Happy Cinco de Mayo Y'all.

Oh Hell Noes , Su and I aren't going out..we are keeping out butts at the Casa...I of course shall be on the patio or as I call it..MY ROOM....and if anyone pisses me off I swear I will break out the TJB..yes..I have TJB * !

* Tijuana Brass with Herb Alpert *

Stay cool.


Aunty Pol

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Holy Carp !

Andy : Hey Loki !

Loki : Yes , Bubble Butt ?

Andy : I am not a Bubble Butt...I'm dah FLOOFINATOR !

Loki: Whatever . Why in Bast's name did you wake me up ?

Andy : I has a secret...I has a secret and I'm not tellin.

Loki:'re too dumb to know what a secret is.

Andy : No..I is not too're a meanie. I'll show you..My secret is.......

Loki : Yes...?

Andy: I saw a snakey thing in dah howse !


Andy : Yuppers ! I'm gonna tell MINE mommy so she sees what a brave big FLOOFINATOR I is.

Loki: Andy..dude..I know you've been here a while but trust me...we have no snakes in the house. Mommy hates snakes...and you'll freak her out. Remember when the metal machine got smacked ?

Andy: I'll prove it, follow me !

Andy : See..a ginormous snake.

Loki: Holy's all the way in the guest room. We need to hide and think..maybe it's time for treats and a nap...go bug Daddy and Uncle Moron.

Andy : Okey Dokey...........treats !!!!!!!!!

What a weekend.

We had it all planned to prune both big and little Red which was great to get out of the way ( thanks honey) and then off to get all of the crap off the den floor to clean the carpet.

And the carpet cleaner quit...then starts on it's own , then quits one final time.

So off to Slammin Sammy's to get a new and bigger badder one which is the one that we should have gotten in the first place and not been worried about a few bucks one way or the other.

Remember , with Xena's condition, we wore the hell out of's not intented to be used on a daily much less thrice daily use.

Homeward the machine's totally tits up !

Then Jeri Lee calls from the parking lot at her hairdressers..the ball joint on the passenger front wheel went splat..and Triple A is on the way. Of course I can watch the puppys as she heads to the mechanics and then her sons to borrow a truck.

And SU nearly scalds himself in the shower that night....NO COLD WATER !

I kid you not..he reads this BTW and may feel free to verify with a comment.

Sunday night, imagine my bliss when I am now in the shower...wait for it....AND THERE IS NO HOT ...nada.

I do so love shaving my legs in a cold shower.

So last night..the hose got hooked up to the tank to drain it into the flower beds as SU and Jeri Lee went off to Lowes to buy a water heater, thank God she still has Donovans truck..not so much room in Lola for that sort of thing .

And so SU and Uncle Moron ( thank you Steve - you rock) are home installing the new 40 gallon I realize that I am going to dread next months water bill.

I hope there is hot water tonight or it will be a repeat of last night at Miss Jeri Lee's and Miss Cindys back door :

Knock Knock..." Hello , May I borrow a cup of hot shower ?"

Have a great week.


Aunty Pol