Thursday, April 30, 2009


Courtesy of Mile the Waiter's Blog.

Boy..does this bring back memories

January 24th, 2009
My regular readers know that the Saratoga Trunk Restaurant in Redmond, Washington was my first real restaurant management job in fine dining. It was also back in the days when health department inspectors were really feared because they really inspected. Nowadays, they are pretty well bought off with the occasional free meals. This is simply indisputable fact. No offense to the health inspectors intended. They are but a symptom, not a cause, of the decay in government oversight–and government in general, for that matter.But way back when, in Washington State, the twice yearly, unannounced, health department inspection was always viewed with trepidation and fear. And when you did have one in the door, with flashlight and thermometer in hand, it was always “yes, Sir”, “no, Sir”…. “I really like your new haircut, sir”, etc.Unfortunately for me, my employees didn’t always exude the same reverence that I displayed–and it came back to bite me on the butt!You see, health department personnel work a nine to five shift, just like the rest of the government bureaucracy. They always inspect during the day–never at night. Well, as all of you know already, lunch shift is always a more frenetic pace than dinners. We rock and roll at lunch!This particular lunch was even busier than usual, and of course, who showed up? Yep! Knee deep in alligators and boom… in walks the man.So, of course, I drop what I’m doing and go into my obsequies routine. “Why, hello…so nice to see you…lalalalalala”The bar gets scored o.k. the dining room gets scored o.k. then on to the kitchen.At the time, we had an unwritten rule that not even managers would go behind the cooks line. This was enforced by the cooks by “accidentally” spilling sauces on 3-piece suits of any offenders.Apparently, nobody had explained to one of the most junior cooks that this didn’t apply to health department inspectors, who have the right and the authority and the obligation to inspect EVERYWHERE in the restaurant.So, whence upon this particular day, this inspector, towards the end of the inspection, ventured behind the cooks line at the height of the lunch rush–you guessed it–little LeRoy proceeds to unleash on this unsuspecting fellow with a torrent of expletives, followed by a threat of physical violence!Well, the inspector smiled, left the kitchen, and went to the main entrance to the building and posted a sign “CLOSED BY ORDER OF THE HEALTH DEPARTMENT”.Way bummer! Do you know what a sign like that will do to your business?We literally worked deep cleaning for the next 24 hours and humbly requested a re-inspection. He brought a fine tooth comb this time, but we passed and reopened.Of course, we opened with one less employee! I always wondered what happened to little LeRoy. I wish him well.
I adore his Blog.
Aunty Pol


It's going to be one of those days.

I really feel the urge to just tell someone to stop being such a TWAT .

If I call you to tell you that your client is here , and in your own itty bitty passive aggressive way you have made it historically known that the procedure is to call your secretary/slave/cheerleader FIRST to convey the timely information....and said secretary/slave/cheerleader is on their phone. , with one of your clients trying to avert a disaster on the horizon...stop.



Rant over for now.....


Aunty Pol

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Life Will Smack You Upside The Head

It must be stated that life at Casa de Swamp has been a challenge of late.
And then there are the others that we care about who have larger issues that put the p in perspective .
One of the hardest things for me is to refrain.
Growing up as I did, I am very fortunate that I have a few best friends for life.
Not the cheesy tat BFF.
The kind of friend that you hop on a plane for at a moments notice.
The kind of friend who knows not to ask when they see shit that you are doing your damnest to hide and have the grace to not cross examine you.
The sister of your heart.
The sister of my heart is going through some major pain right now. We've talked via e mail during the day and all I know to do and can bring to the table is unflinching love and support.
And yet.........
I will not call her for a day or so.
I know that they need a few days to process what is going on.
We have been there.
Because I love them both, I give them space.
This is an act of love , not ego.
So tonight I wrap them in my arms and then we laugh and give each other the chit and grief as we always have.
To Double O Mullet and his Miss Money Penny...
I got your back.
We Love You .
Aunty Pol

Monday, April 27, 2009

Ok..So I'm a heretic


So there wasn't a lot on the tee slant vee this weekend....out come the Netflix. I tried, I tried, I tried to like " Twilight " .

Yes, I read the books and if you can get past the fact that Bella is a 16 year old BRAT ...they are a fun, frothy 'Smores way to pass the time on a rainy day.

As far as the film goes , the casting was fine, Pattinson was brill as Edward Cullen...tres yummo. But good golly Miss Molly....don't you hate when you are watching what is supposed to be a great ( and by this I mean great as in popular) movie...and you are muttering to the cat..." Oh , get on with it already."

So, I am not one of those compelled to buy my own copy of this.

Buy the " Frisco Kid" ?

Oh hell yeah , especially since the Bezos Barn has it on sale .

Buy " Caprica " ...mebbe...after renting it. Netflix is great for that ...try before you buy, unless you actually went out to see the potential film , aka " Iron Man".

" Twilight " ? ( The Bottom Photo)


" Bones " ? ( Top Photo)


Have a Great Week.


Aunty Pol

Friday, April 24, 2009

It's Friday - Don't start this shit up - m'kay ?

I am trying to figure out the logic here on this Glorious Friday that I have just encountered. It's been one of those Fridays...hell one of those weeks, but more on that later...anyhoo.....for what ever reason the elites have all been busy lil folk, meetings and depo's and so on as far as the eye can see .

Great !

Outstanding !

Huzzah, even !!!!!!!

Now , I know that a lot of these meetings are last minute things....but not all of them . All everyone knows that there is a finite amount of space to hold the aforementioned meetings in.

Finite.....LOOK IT UP !

If I tell you that there is no room at the me....I am not making this shit up. It's not worth the time, and frankly dear, most of y'all are , simply put , not worth the effort.

On the other hand, for my pals, I will keep a waiting list, checking it twice ( Santa has nada on me ) and I will keep you posted on space A. I will keep my ear to the ground , and it I hear of space on the other floor that is open I will snag it for you .

But you ask, " How does one become a pal of Aunty Pol's ?"

By NOT doing the following :

1. Coping a 'tude ..FOR ANY REASON.

2. Coping a 'tude when I ask you for know..length of time needed, number of bodies .

3. Coping a 'tude when I ask you if your meeting is over after I have validated the parking for the clients that your attorney met with.

4. Getting all pissy because the break out room for the depo is not being used the second you see me it will be used..

to be continued.....


Aunty Pol

Monday, April 20, 2009

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Self Portrait - Hisself

Yup..this is pretty close.


Dr. Aunty Pol

This Is Just Sooo Wrong In Sooo Many Ways

There are a number of blogs that I follow , usually sarcastic, witty writing, things that amuse me, cat blogs ( Oh Do Shut It) or food blogs .
The above is from a favorite blog..." Hello Kitty Hell" , which never fails to make me snort the beverage at hand, usually water or coffee. And yes, I have been known to have a dark beer, but I prefer not as it's a case of renting the beer..thank you Nana for the inherited bladder capacity - NOT !
The above is just wrong in so many ways that it makes the head spin. I hesitate to think what Hisself would do if I came tripping home from the local liquor locker with the above. Becks usually produces a fine product , aside from the fact that it like all of the other beer imported to the US is ruined...At least we KNOW where Shiner is made, thank you very much. I wouldn't even cook with the above mentioned HK swill....
Dr. Momma update:
He is feeling better , and now a tad cranky as the nerves are beginning to wake up and kick his ass. I have tried to tell him that this is to be expected...He's got the lower plate in and I am going to bake him a tater..I Gothic of me...but it will cook evenly for him and I don't care how much he can handle. Soup wears thin after a bit so we are trying to maintain a variety in options.
The storms continue, the water is up over the curb and into the yards at this point. I am grateful that we don't need to go anywhere in this muck, tho Senor Panda Pants is very pissed that he is trapped inside. When it is dry enough , I will let him out and go and hunt down the yard shoes that floated off the patio...ah..the Glam life we live....LMAO .
Have a safe weekend .
Aunty Pol

Friday, April 17, 2009

Dr. Momma - Pt. 3

Hisseslf is better today, sleeping for most of the day which is fine. Soup twice, juice, tea, sherbet and a chocolate milkshake have all stayed where they should so it is all good.

Of course his back is all achy from being in the rack and he still gets a bit dizzy if he gets up too soon.....and he has had the lower plate in for a bit but it's still baby steps as the tissue is still way the hell swollen....oh how well I remember those days. I think he'd be happier of he didn't have to wait for the next surgery on know the get this the hell over routine and while a part of me gets that....I know that the body can only take so much....

Speaking of....It's scary when Aunt Pol here is the healthiest of her chums and partners in crime...

Let's see...Best friend has an abdominal hernia which is going to be a biotch and then some. Like yours truly, she had worked herself up pretty good...hell yeah I would have worried about it being a tumor too....don't lie...that kind of thing crosses your mind when you hit a certain age...oh you know it does..

NG, JZ has bruised her kidneys and ribs from a rather nasty spill so the other NG...CD and I are in the sort of checking two sofa's mode..

As for me....I am about to climb the friggan walls.

Other than checking on hisself , there isn't a lot for me to do right now. I took a few days pre-op to really clean the Casa when he was at work and that helped keep the noise down so he can rest...but it's been raining sideways and so I can't work in the yard . That may be for the best as I can see myself really wearing myself out checking on him...running to the garden..him/garden....yada yada yada.

I am n0t really sleeping well because it is in my nature to want to fix something, especially if it involves someone I love and they need fixing.....I fret really well.

I am going to watch some Fancast and crash.

Oh...CSI Alert...Seriously. If you missed it ( Silly Carbon Based Life Form)....go to Fancast and watch last nights epp. Cameo's by:

Grace Park
Ron Moore
Roger Berman
Kate Vernon

SERIOUS....Check it the F out peeps .

Have a great weekend.


Dr. Aunty Pol

EDIT : Oh Lordy..I finished this at 10:15 p.m...It's now 1 a.m. but on the upside 4 epps of " Brisco County AND Bonus..I'd forgotten the R. Lee Emory (sp- hey it's late , m'kay) played Brisco County , Sr....SQUEEEEEEEEE !

Nite all.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Dr. Momma - Pt . 2

Well, my better half is home now after the second surgery. Pop brought him home , and luck is on our side . The NG , JZ is home so she and I were able to go fetch " Pearl " the wonder car from the dr's parking lot. Hisself had forgotten the pain meds in the console of Pearl so there ya go.

I have some soup that I pured veggies into that I can restrain for him, the tea and jello are made. The other NG, CD and I made the Kroger run for the soft food yada yada that I can fix for him....damn that stuff adds up too....OK..the Dryers cookie dough ice cream is for me....busted..I know.

I've called my office to let them know that I won't be in on Monday since he has to go back for the third surgery....yeah.


Evidently, the remaining teeth are being stubborn and he had begun to metabolize the nitrous and Novocaine so they had to take a pause in all of this. Of course the Dental staff wouldn't tell me jack...which I fully get with the HIPPA laws..that's fine, but I still wanted to let them know that he got home okay and to confirm that the next dental appt. is this coming Monday. Tuesday...I have no clue and I will deal with that then.

Thankfully , I have a boss who does understand all of this , and that is a not sucking up here...just giving credit where credit is due. I also called Nee Nee so she won't fret and she can pass it on to those who need to know without putting it out firm wide...

Off to check soup... oops..I need to go find his business card so that I can call his office and give them a heads up regarding the number.

Keep my better half in good thoughts ..m'kay ??


Dr. Aunty Pol

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Dr. Momma is on it

Well...hisself is home now. There will be a second procedure tomorrow, but for now all is okay. He is of course miserable and I really get that , having been through this all myself. For right now it is a lot of broth and lukewarm tea so there ya go.

When the NG gets home , she and I are going to schlep to Kroger so I can get more gauze and his other RX and so on...

Gonna be quiet at the casa for a bit but that's okay too .

Have a great week,


Dr. Aunty Pol

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Some things......

Some things are too hard to pass up.....hee.

Monday, April 06, 2009


I couldn't help it.

Alas and alack , it's true..there was no birthday cake for the old gal here. There was however, courtesy of the NG's ...warm...out of the oven warm white chocolate macadamia nut cookies...bliss...pure bliss.

All in all it was a lovely birthday.

One surprise was a call from my Aunt and Uncle in Mpls...oops...edit...edit...Chaska..LOL.

D & V have lived on Gaywood drive for so long that I think that the address is tattooed on back of my head. It was wonderful to hear from them and I do truly think the world and all of them but when the usual " And the kids are doing ...blah de blah blah blah...I tend to zone out . I know how wretched that sounds...but...let's be honest here. As far as my mothers side of the family was concerned..we were the outsiders. Forget the fact that Mom was the eldest, or that I am the oldest Grandchild for that matter...we left the frozen wasteland....hell...we never really lived there except for 1968. There was and is no commonality of topics or shared moments between us...we are not better or worse than each other , just different . Families do that . It doesn't mean that you don't care, it's just important to be honest about the differences too . I am certain that if you ask them, and they were being honest, they would say the same thing. Being close in a family only really works if you maintain constant contact...even via phone. If you try to force it or create the illusion, everyone loses . I know as little of them as they know of me...and for me that's okay . I am certain that they are all lovely people, but if I don't get invited to the next tea party/clam bake/what evs...I'm just okey dokey with that too.

It really hit home in 1993 when GE died, and now after all this time I am fine with it. We all have different experiences . I doubt they'd last three days here in Houston...and I can safely say the same if I had to live up there....cause gang...with my luck it would be the middle of winter.

All together now....." Not only NO...but HELL NO." was nice to have that bit of conversation.

Other than that..well...let's see...the youngest brother got hisself a jobbie, not the one that we sort of hammered the resume out for but what todays world..take the jobbie dude...and at the age of 49 , he is finally getting that . To be fair tho, he was at the last company for 10 years in marketing...and if you knew him you'd know what a gifted Artiste he can be......and I'm not talking painting here.

We didn't go out for the din din thing since we agreed that there is no sense at all spending the money for my birthday or his next month on a meal that he really cannot at the moment enjoy. In a few months when things sort themselves out..oh hella yeah.

And then of course there is the every 6 years trek to the DPS .

As my luck goes , the birthday falls around the beginning of the Shell Open...If you read that bit and go..."WTF" , either you are clueless about goof or have linked over here in some inter dimensional way that scares the crap out of me so please don't slam the door on the way out..thank you.....tip the waitress on the way. always...always rains on certain occasions here in H town. The HLSR ( for the tourists..the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo) parade and generally the time that the rodeo is open...the Shelll Open is the same way.

There I am..Golfsmith umbrella in line 45 minutes before the doors open and I am 15'th in line. To be honest, some of the line was made up of friends, family etc of the folks who actually had a valid need to be MOI. I left the entourage at home tho.

Forty five minutes to wait for a process that took up ten. The kicker was the look on the clerks face as I said a polite and sincere good morning. My honest reply was that it costs nothing to be pleasant ...and from the looks of the crowd..the gals were gonna need it. I didn't know that there are only so many time slots and examiners for road tests..and I gotta tell matter how bad my day could have was no where near as bad as the lil gal who stood in line from 6 a . m. to 8 a.m. only to be told that there were no more slots to be had that particular day .

I really, really felt bad for her. sum up..great birthday. Got to indulge my fan girl -iness with an epic run of " Witchblade" on the DRV....I waited forever for that to be released.

Now if they'd just do " Peacemakers".

Tom Berenger and ponies....nuff said.

Got the do done..hee hee...short ( ala Zoe Wanamaker as Madame Hooch in Harry Potter ) and back to dark red...really dark....Sharon Osbourne dark....I am a happy old broad.

Have a great week and happy Easter...remember..chocolate is a terrible thing to go for it.


Aunty Pol

Friday, April 03, 2009

Hee Hee - For the SU

Have a great weekend.
Aunty Pol

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Boundries,,,Oh Yeah,,This Again

First of all...
Spouse, this is not about you ....m'kay ?
I have been feeling very overloaded the last few months.
I look around the house, I look around my life and I see nothing but verbal diarrhea.
I have let shit slide to the side that I' d have never done before .
This is not my way .
I feel like I can't catch a break, my breath or a moment right now.
My boundaries are down and I am drowning .
Sweetie, again...this is not you .
It is me.
All I can do is call it another day , get up and move on.
We are fine..........tho.....if you continue to not clean the counter top and counters after you cook.....I will kill you dead.
Why do you not See this pisses me off and makes more work ? will all work out.
And I am still working through my stuff , so please , Sweet baby Jesus not not harp....back the f up .
Aunty Pol
Edit: Okay...I was in one of those bummed out moods , it is not all that everyone and I mean EVERYONE calm down....really.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Ok...Ok...I know.

There hasn't been a lot that I consider worthwhile to blog about for a bit , unless every one wants to hear how pissed off I am that the carpet cleaner at home is wonky . Trust me, with a six - pack - o - katz , it is a life saver.


One of my gal pals at the office got the best suprise about 30 minutes ago. Her eldest, a Ranger down range got a last minute get out of hell pass for two weeks so hisself shows up here to suprise his Mama . You raised him well , did indeed.

They scooted out of here at Mach 5.

Gonna be a good day .


Aunty Pol