Friday, September 17, 2010

For SU


Hee Hee Hee
Your Wife.

The Cheese Has A Home , The Cheese Has A Home...Hi Ho The Merry -Oh, The Cheese Has A Home


UPDATE :
~ The Cheese Has A Home...The Cheese Has A Home...Hi Ho The Merry-Oh, The Cheese Has A Home. !! ~
Heart Felt Thanks to Lady Lisa over at Space Paws for the update. A home has been found at one of my favorite places on this green earth,....the College of William and Mary.
Lisa..thanks love for the update...it wiped out all of the crap from the " deluded diva's " as you so aptly put it and gave me my happy happy joy joy for the entire weekend.
And Bonus !
He looks JUST like our Andy Panda Pants !
Hugs , Headbutts and Purrs
Ciao,
Aunty Pol

For SU - LMAO


Here are some conversions for you that I have..well...you said that you cannot remember them and me being the helpful lil wifey that I am..yeah...stop laughing , I can hear you .
Farenheit to Celsius Conversions: These are all about degrees dear.
325 F = 165 C
350 F = 180 C
375 F = 190 C
400 F = 200 C
425 F = 220 C
450 F = 230 C
Liquid Conversions
1 tsp = 1/3 Tbsp = 1/6 oz.
2 tsp = 2/3 Tbsp = 1/3 oz
3 tsp = 1 Tbsp = 1/2 oz
2 Tbsp = 1/8 cup = 1 oz
4 Tbsp = 1/4 cup = 2 oz
8 Tbsp = 1/2 cup = 4 oz
16 Tbsp = 1 cup = 8 oz
2 Cups = 1 pint = 16 oz = 1/2 quart
4 cups = 2 pints = 32 oz = 1 quart
16 cups = 8 pints = 4 quarts= 1 gallon
There ya go.
Ciao,
Aunty Pol

Lemonade Cheesecake Pie


Since I ranted in the last post , I need to put this here to make me smile and so there ya go..Lookey Lady Lisa..it's even NO BAKE !
I know...I know..
Anyhoo.
Lemonade Cheesecake Pie
For the Crust :
1 1/4 CUP plain vanilla wafers ( I use Kroger brand)
4 Tbsp. butter, melter
For The Filling:
1 pkg ( 1 8 oz box) cream cheese ( softened.)
2 1/2 Tbsp. sugar
1/2 cup milk ( I use whole)
1/4 cup lemonade mix
2 cups cool whip/generic brand whipped topping
First throw the cookies in a food processor to grind them up....I have also thrown them in a heavy duty baggie and used a rolling pin on 'em..either way is good. Melt the butter and mix it with the cookie crumbs until the mixture is moist and crumbly.Press this mix into a pie pan and throw the filled pan into the freezer to firm up.
Combine the softened cream cheese , sugar , lemonade mix and milk and mix in medium speed until well blended. Add the cool whip by hand ..DO NOT USE THE MIXER HERE, it will flatten out the cool whip...just fold like you would fold in whipped egg whites.
Grab the pie crust from the freezer and slap the filling in there, smooth the top and chill in the fridge for an hour or so . When set/firm add topping of choice..berries...zest..or eat plain.
Sistah , it reminds me of that cool whip jello thingy we used to do that I need to ask you about because I've forgotten how that goes and I want some..so there ya go.
Enjoy.
Ciao,
Aunty Pol

Bruce Of The Day ~ Happy Friday !

Happy Friday Kids !


Lord am I glad that this week is over. I don't know what has flown up certain peoples skirts around here ...When you are reminded that Fed EX is NOT to be left in the lobby area before 4 pm...DO NOT jump my ass because I am assuming that since it went out under your attorneys name that you left it there. It was simple mentioned to you as a reminder that's all...BUT NO...AS IS YOUR NORM YOU BLOW A SNOTTY GASKET No..I didn't know that 3 other people also work for /with your attorney....not my job and that minutia BULLSHIT is above my f'kg pay grade....also note..I told the relief to MENTION it to you..the word BLAME was not used so jump off my ass before I fucking stomp yours you BIOTCH ! YOU are insufferable during the best of times and I am frankly tired or your pretensions and never ending supply of being a combo platter of know it all and singular lone worker bee around here...IN the future , I will be civil to you but do not mistake that for anything else.



Onward.


Why can't folks just be civil....why do I get my ass jumped right off the bat for stuff I didn't do....?



At least it's the weekend and as annoying as SU can be, he knows better than to act like he's 12.

Have a great weekend.

I sure as hell will.

Ciao,

Aunty Pol

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Dear Numb Nuts Fire Bug Human Personage


From Sgt. A.P. Pants
To: Idiot
My Mother told me I could write this so I am going to tell you why I am hissed off .
My parents came home last night and gave us our stinky goodness and " Treats" and all was good.
I was on call according to the duty roster of perimeter patrol , and as I began to walk the quad..what did I find ?
SMOKE !
FIRE !
DANGER !
You being an asshole had decided that you needed to pile up a bunch of DRY pine needlesand set them on fire rather than actually move your lazy ass and bag them.
ALL of the smoke came into our Sovereign Nation.
The Empress was most displeased.
After an emergency meeting, it was decided that should you ever be this inept and stupid again we will be faced with no other choice but to call in the Hydration Department.
You are on notice SIR !
Sgt. A. P. Pants
Perimeter Security Liaison
Yes, the NUMBNUTS behind us decided to Burn Baby Burn, Disco Inferno last night.
Next time I will place the Wig Wag..oscillating sprinkler so that it goes from my yard ( Dude..what ? Sorry..yard needed water) over the fence onto the fire.
Did they monitor it..not really.
Am I pissed..OH HELL YEAH.
Ciao,
Aunty Pol

Just A Shout Out To The Richmond Virginia Area


http://hubblespacepaws.blogspot.com/

Just doing what I can.

Ciao With A Prayer

Aunty Pol

Happy Birthday !


Happy Birthday Daddy !
You would have to have known my late father to get the above Lord Kitchener reference. Needless to say it is family lore.
I was quite proud of myself the other day...I didn't tail spin into a weeping wreck so maybe..yeah.
We had to run errands the other day and decided that sine we had the time to go and buy SU a new pair of dress shoes that his orthotics would fit in before the wedding. That done, we bought a new shirt and tie for him and after returning home, I dug out his dark gray suit.
We discovered that unfortunately this will be the last time that he can wear it because it just does not fit as it should.
It took me a bit to put it together, then it hit me.
The last time that SU wore the suit was six and a half years ago at my fathers funeral. Life being what it is, he has put on weight and so there will be a donation made.
Realizing this surprised me, in that other than a profound moment of sadness I just carried on with my day. I am aware every year that his birthday is just before Sistah's and my other favorite holiday...September 19'th or " Talk Like A Pirate Day " as it is known.
I cannot explain to anyone who has not lost a parent how much I miss him..it's a wound that will never heal and other than losing my children it is one of the worst feelings to try to deal with. Yes, I miss my late mother but she has been gone for so long now ( 29 years) and our relationship was more conflicted than most mothers and daughters so it is only with time that I have been able to put perspective to what that was all about. I loved her but it was difficult at times...nuff said .
But Daddy ?
Oh hell no..
But as sure as I am sitting here , I can hear his voice telling me that this is just the way that it is and that while he loves me , I'd better suck it up.
Consider it sucked up sir !
I love you and I miss you daddy.
Happy Birthday.
Your Daughter.

Monday, September 13, 2010

If It's Monday ~ It's John Barrowman Time ~!


Happy Monday gang.
All's been fairly quiet thus far at work today which means that everyone is still hungover from the Texan's game ...and yes...wonder of wonders..you know who actually made it in to the office.
LMAO..
I noticed something unusual Saturday night that I'd almost forgotten about until God knows what reminded me of it.
We've always had an abundance of critters in the back yard..all of the green lizards..all named Larry BTW..keeps it easy...the birds , tree rats and the frogs.
It's the frogs that I am wondering about now.
Actually I am wondering about Andy and Gracie Marie's lack of predator skill to be exact.
Usually Andy would be hell bent to get the frogger to the point that I would have to leave the patio when he nabbed the poor thing because like his mother he likes to torture his prey for a while.
Same said for Gracie Marie...until lately.
Evidently Froggie and his Missus ( no..they are not green, nor are they anywhere near cute enough to be called Kermit) are comfortable enough that they have babies back there.
I say this dark spot Saturday night out on the concrete patio floor and thought... " Well there's a spot you missed sweeping girlie...get your OCD butt over there and attend to it. "
It moved.
On closer inspection..it appeared to be a baby froggie.
Who knew..?
Yes..it is that boring at the Casa lately when I am reduced to reporting on the status of the Clan Froggie.
Shoot me now.
Have a great week.
Ciao,
Aunty Pol

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Extra Income In Todays Economy


It's been a lovely day even if we didn't get the promised rain. Some chores were done, smothered pork chops were consumed for dinner and a tiny nap wa had.
As is my custom, I spent a bit getting all of the daily Facebook crap done..you Farmvillers know what I mean..then on to Bejeweled Blitz.
" Hello , my name is Aunty Pol and I am a Bejeweled Blitz junkie. "
I've played too long at this crap today ..how do I know ?
Easy.
The voice that says " One Minute" makes it sound like " One minute or death".
And damn'd if he doesn't sound like Darth Vader.
Just saying.
Have a great week.
Ciao,
Aunty Pol

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Even Damn Cats Can Do It !


Even the damn cat can do this and I can't ...Starfleet Academy FAIL !
LOL
Aunty Pol

Just Because


The third part of my trifecta....Bruce Campbell, John Barrowman and of course Derek de Lint...God I miss PTL ( Poltergeist: The Legacy).
Enjoy.
Ciao,
Aunty Pol

Weekends Are Good !


It's been a while since I have posted any pictures from the Casa..mainly because I never have the camera handy when the inside house is tidy or when the yard has just been done and looks snazzy, thank you Mr. Trejo and crew of intrepid lawn dudes.
I did find a few so I will be posting them on the weekends from the Casa pc..
Above is the arbor that SU and the Moron built for me a few years ago which I love by the way. On the left is Andy's spot in the world other than in front of the treat locker...the Plumbago. The Plumbago is amazing when it is in bloom and I can always tell when he has been camped out there because he comes in with purple flowers in his super floofy tail area...my son the flower child. When he sits with the Plumbago behind him facing the interior of the yard he has the whole area within sight and stays happily in guard patrol mode..clever lad.
Other than that not a lot going on this weekend. A few of the gals and I were discussing plans for the weekend as we headed home yesterday and the consensus was that "plans" sounded a tad too much like work so....pffft to plans . It's been rather quiet this am so far..SU is resting his eyes on sofa...after a yummy egg and sausage casserole breakfast that he made and the cats are inspecting the nap of the carpet in various rooms...ZZZZZZZZZZZ . My plans are minimum chores and the paws and claws appt at 3 so there ya go. Farmville, Frontierville , Vampire Wars and Mafia Wars have all been attended to and dammit Mindy...I can't catch up to you in Bejeweled Blitz...but I will missy , I will...mwahahahahahahahaha.
Oh..and if you get BBC America...tonight at 8 pm cst ..check out " Being Human"..it sounds like a bad joke..." A werewolf, a vampire and a ghost walk into...." but it is truly worth a view..for the Dr. Who fans...George the werewolf is the same guy who played the cabin steward in the Christmas ep with Kylie Minogue....Alonzo rocks...
Catch all y'all later..
Ciao,
Aunty Pol

Friday, September 10, 2010

The Goats


I have the perfect company slogan.
" A whole lot of hoot and a lil bit nanny..we do the work so you can park your fanny."
Ok...I am keeping my day job.
Ciao,
Aunty Pol

Bruce Of The Day ~ Happy Friday ~


Happy Friday Kids.
I am finding that it is becoming a challenge to find new Bruce Avatars...but trust me..I'm just the sort of dedicated researching nerdchik to stay the course...all Bruce...all Fridays.
Not a helluva lot is going on down this way, school is back in session so the screams and wails of all the lil children can be herd city wide...that and the Zoloft enhanced sighs of bliss from their parental units....better them than me my dears..that's all I can say about that one .
I can tell that SU and I are ready for autumn in our own ways. FIrst of all...Su needs to get off his ass and make a batch of chili so that I won't have to listen to him bitch about the lack of said food of the rib sticking variety . Yes, it's less grilling and more filling time at the Casa...then Ben's wedding approaches and in an odd gender turn...SU is the one that needs new shoes. He has to wear prosthetic inserts now and has a new set to be used for dress shoes....but new wider dress shoes are needed that lace up ( I know , TMI ) so I am sure that a Dillards run will be happening soon. Other than getting his suit to the cleaners and a new dress shirt, it 's a done deal. Thankfully I am not particularly wardrobe challenged for this gig...it the outfit worked for the Godsons wedding two years ago...but with heels this time..it will work again.
And then....I get to get the hell out of Dodge in my soon to be annual ( you have been warned Sistah) pilgrimage to the Northwest for all clams fried and maple bars.
I have my standards after all. For once I can see the actual leaves that have changed color and don't have to wait to get the baggie of them in the mail from the Sistah. You see, she knows that I love autumn and that the season is one of the few things that I miss living here in Tejas , so being the dear sweet thing that she is , she mails me some. Best friends get a free pass on creative torture...a little known Darwinian principle..hey...look it up..if it's on Wiki you know it's " true ".
And of course it's football season so the usual suspects will be out the work day after any given game, regardless of the start time because some of these ahats don't seem to get that if they start tailgating at noon for an afternoon or evening game, to quote Jeri Lees sister " I f'd up" will be the order of the day. Any one who knows me knows how little patience I have with all of this behavior..now lets be honest here...yes..I have been that drunk..Miss work...nope. If you're gonna soar with the eagles, by Gawd you'd better be able to get up with the chickens. Worse yet are those who actually think that the rest of us are stupid enough not to see their lying about it..." Umm...pattern,....Game....out sick...game.....out sick......game...out sick...yep..dats the one.
On the lighter side...it seems that there is a new Eco chic/geek fad afoot..tired of mowing your manse ? Buy a goat. Or three..or a herd. I am not making this up, it was on todays MSN front scroll.....I wonder what Cindy would say since she's on the HOA board. More to the point....I wonder what Sgt. Panda Pants and Miss Gracie Marie would say.
Giddiup ?
I wonder if they have kitty size chaps for my boy ?
Have a great weekend.
Ciao,
Aunty Pol

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Gadzooks !

Where have all my commenter's gone ?



I know, I know , this is what happens when I read other bloggers that I greatly admire like Miss Ree and see the TONS of comments that she gets.

I mean really...we are both blogging gals so there is not MUCH difference...except...


1. She is amazing...a Goddess amongst bloggers.

2. Same as above for the photography.

3. Her content is charming, engaging, witty, shiny and educational.

4. Her hair is longer.

5. She is thinner.

But other than that it's much the same.

Mwahahaha.


All kidding aside, she had some very good tips about blogging and one that stuck out the most is the need to use your authentic voice. Write as if you are talking to your sister ..and the Sistah can attest , I hope that this blog is much the same as our many insane phone calls and e mails..I hope..

That and do not blog about stuff you wouldn't talk about in the normal course of a conversation.I do that out of both respect for the people in my real life..your sanity and the fact that there are some topics at my age I still cringe at...including but not limited to genital art/modification...so there will be no talk of anyones vajayjay getting bedazzled or brazilioned ( is that a word even ..Snaggletooth voice goes here). Waxing will be confined to the brow/lip/face that Miss Tina does on yours truly...( do not laugh all you younger gals....your day will come with this issue.)or the beauty treatment that Miss Lola gets from her daddy.

There won't be any ripping someone a new one unless of course they deserve it or I have already said it to their face , because you know that I will do that .


I may not get more political than the laughing off of my ample ass and the about to be breaking news story about how the City of Houston completely screwed the pooch on the bidding/awarding of the light rail contracts that are under investigation as the former mayor of the city is running for Governor...most excellent timing there gang...Personally I can''t wait to see the Kinksters comments on this Boondoggle.

I know that stuff has been going on so I know that Lady Lisa will be back when she can and that PG will still kick ass at work while lusting after Morton and that Calamity Anne rocks her hatch chili's and is braver than I will ever be ....so " mah peeps " are still here...and I miss all y'all.

Have a great rest of the week .

Ciao,

Aunty Pol

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

With Six You Get Denied !


Denied Bitch !

What a great day !

Ciao,

Aunty Pol

Monday, September 06, 2010

Long Weekends Aren't Long Enough


Sigh.
Happy end of the long weekend folks !
It was rather a bit odd to not be on line until tonight ...locally about 9:40 p.m. here cst. It wasn't a case of out negotiating for custody of the pc...it was more along the lines of other things to be done.
Nothing thrilling...some funny but for the most part rather mundane.
How mundane you ask ?
Oh the thrilling saga of taking 2 comforters to the local laundry..our washer is nice but a California king comforter is just to much to ask of it....new plant stands for the patio...a steal on sale at Lowes of all places...looking snazzy at the Ice House now my friends...tres snazzy.
The beef braised in Guinness was good...not as flavorful as I had hoped but having followed the recipe in tact I know what changes would be an improvement..mwahahah.
Jeri Lees son from Louisiana and family were in town for the weekend and Jenny ( Ginny ?) as always is a riot..laughed my ample ass off with that one...good times..
Other than carpet cleaning..not all done but a hell of a start as my back will testify too other than that..today was quiet...SU spent the day with his father and I made Banana bread for the office...a lot of rain here finally so all in all a good day.
I have a date with some clay mask before ZZZZ so I will catch you all later.
Have a great week.
Ciao,
Aunty Pol

Friday, September 03, 2010

A Mission For Agent B. Fawn


To: Agent B. Fawn
From: Sgt. A.P.Pants
Subject: Covert Ops
Agent Fawn:
You have been given the supreme honor of being named to the following super secret classified mission on behalf of Her Majesty's government. You are to infiltrate the headquarters of the organization commonly known as " I Can Haz Cheezeburger" and determine why they are restricting the normal flow of data. Our informants have said that the data flow is down to one encrypted bit every 24 hours and SHE is not happy about this..not happy at all sirrah.
My aide Mr. Loki Lo will have all the pertinent information.
Dismissed.
WTF ICHC..only one ICHC a day ?
This will not stand.
Ciao,
Aunty Pol

Bruce Of The Day ~ Happy Friday ~


Happy Friday kids.
No......I didn't fall off the face of he Earth.
I've had that Arbitration aka " The Circus" or TC all week and quite frankly it has been so stressful that I haven't felt like blogging, and if I had it would have not been pretty.
You see , it's not the "opposing counsel " that makes me want to go find some C-4.
It's our people.
I understand that litigators are a different breed.
I get it.
They thrive on the drama and all of that crap ..yada yada yada ..save it. I've heard it all for 29 years. That is the normal part. It's the other ...rudeness for the sake of being rude...as if that is going to make you a better lawyer who can vanquish the evil doers and arise victorious into the dawn of a new day.
And don't get me started on Princess Poodle this week .
I'd rather eat shards of glass...dry.
And among other things today...one of the operators just got a call from a courier service. They are attempting to deliver 2 boxes to one of our attorneys and the loading dock has informed them that they are not going to be able to make the delivery because the building is "closed ?" at 4:45 . Granted , yes this is a holiday weekend...but by Gaia..I'm here till the usual 6 pm..WTF ?
The gal that took the call is not one of my regulars so I called the building and said told a very nice gal what went on and she's going to look into it so I hope that the courier service can complete their mission....
The scope of my job just keeps expanding...ain't it grand ?
On the upside it is a bit cooler today and we may get some rain...of course we will. It's a long weekend and I plan to clean carpet...LOL...On the upside there is a new recipe that I am going to road test..beef braised in beer from PDub..and me being me it's gonna be Guinness. I'll let you know .
Have a great and safe weekend.
Ciao,
Aunty Pol