To: The Katz
From: The Management Partnership fka Mommy and Daddy
Re: The Rules
To Whom It May Concern:
It has come to the attention of the management that there is some inequity in the day to day operations at the location commonly referred to as : " The House." This memo is an attempt to clarify some of the salient points in hopes of future harmony and good will.
1. Food: We buy it, you get it . This is a structured plan and is widely considered generous when compared to other companies. We strive for variety and are vigilant in our pursuit of quality and overall food safety. Food is not however a toy, home decor item or bargaining chip. We agree that there are times when the item does not agree with delicate feline digestion and is returned to point of sale . We only ask that it not return to the management via the bed, comforter or fresh bed linens. When you as the katz can embrace the policy of laundry, this issue will be revisited. Furthermore, " treats" are a reward, not a Bast given right . You would do well to remember that many katz in areas such as China do not get the above mentioned treats and have far poorer diets than you enjoy. Do not abuse the treat option .
2. Toys: You have a generous selection . You have a basket full of toys. Makeup brushes, pens, pencils, lipsticks and so on do not fall in this category . Toys also do not need food or water, nor do they need a bath. Soggy, smelly , icked up toys will be removed by management. In addition, fingers and toes are not toys. Putting the bitey on management is expressly forbidden. Putting the bitey on each other is not an issue for management within reason. If management has to employ the PTU and a trip to the Vet, the above sibling bitey issue will be suspended and corporal punishment is immediately mandated.
Further memo's to follow as needed.
The Management Partnership fka Mommy and Daddy .