Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Ask Dr. Baltar


Dear Dr. Baltar,
As our journey progresses towards the Gods only know what, I wonder at the lack of a sense of time and purpose that I am currently feeling.
Is there a purpose to this existence that we endure ? Is the thirteenth Colony actually a possibility or just some joint hallucination perpetuated by the Fleet and the remnants of society?
Someone has to know the truth around this fleet !
Cynical Sally
Dear Ms. Sally,
First of all , how old are you ?
Twelve ?
We will be there when we get there so stop your sniveling and get back to what ever remedial studies your poor under compensated instructors have assigned you .
Gaius Baltar, President in Absentia Of The Twelve Colonies.
Of all the places that I formerly found to be least annoying , when I had to shop used to be Petsmart.
Please not the useage of the past tense here.
" Dear Parent of the Child in the School Uniform at the Petsmart in Humble on May 17, `2010."
Did you really think that your spawn's screaming as you dragged her towards the fish in the tank was enjoyable ?
Really ?
Funny ?
Please resume your former shopping habitat.
Wal Mart misses you , they really , really do .
Harrumpf.
Aunty Pol

1 comment:

HubbleSpacePaws said...

Harruph, indeed! I remember being dragged out of an establishment for behaving badly in public, not to the next attraction.

For us the next stop was the car, and a drive home in utter and terrifying silence. This was followed by the psychological torture of being sent to your room to await the administration of discipline. The worst was the requirement to recite your sins and offer a plan for penance (and you really tried to do a good job of it in an attempt to mitigate said discipline). Then being carted back to the store the next day to perform the penance... sure your face would burst into flame from the humiliation of apologizing to the owner. It only needed to happen once.

Just the whisper, through clenched teeth, from one of my parents, "Don't make me leave this [insert public establishment]!" was enough to shut us up.