Ahem, this is Sgt . Andy of the Patio Police with a special report . The weekend started out un eventful , the human attendant known as " Daddy " played with a big bag of sticks and some white round things that look suspiciously like bird eggs . He went with another human who is awfully loud but in his case we can put up with him since he honors our Queen with his impressive whiskers. The female attendant known as " Mommy" must have commited some serious offense because the Queen sentenced her to completely cleaning the castle, even the dungeon . Her Majesty must have been tired after a full schedule with her subjects since she did not react to the monster lurking in the coridors. I believe it is called Dyson and it is a frightful beastie . I have never personally encountered the Beastie but the folk lore and myths have convinced me that it is to be avoided at all costs.
Later on that night , the humans must have some very strange religious festivals . They tend to hold them out side, at night and they serve beverages and treaties . I shall have to remind the human " Mommy" that as a civil servent , under the Queen's Law, I am entitled to a portion of all treats served at these festivals. It was a long festival , and there was much talk of some one named Edmund and another human named Fitzgerald. I haven't met either of them , and I personally suspect that they are spies from another rulers fiefdom. I shall suggest to the senior of the Queens aides, a chap named Loki that we circulate all information about these villans.
As the human known as " Daddy" left again with the sticks and egg thingy's , the other Human carried out her sentence and was given probation by our gracious Liege . Hopefully she will not be a repeat offender. The Queen's Penal code is quite severe though completely just .
I hope to be promoted in rank soon , especially with my detection and complete domination of an enemy trying to cross our borders . I am uncertain if this is an isloated incident or the prelude to a full scale invasion , but I shall continue on patrol with the canine commando's to assist me.
Remember ...Be Alert....The Tree Rats Are Everywhere.
Patio Patrol Unit # 1