Tuesday, May 19, 2009
I saw this morsel at Netflix and thought " Hmmmmmm."
I love all three of the actors mentioned in the photo and so I checked it out.
This is bad in ways that I can't even begin to imagine.
Bad like a bad hit of windowpane .
Bad like gas station/quicky-mart potato salad circa mid July
Bad like believing that three hours of sleep after the last pre-made Mexican gatorade and a complete change of blood ( thank you Larry Miller for the 7 Stages of Drunk) will be enough to get you through the work day .
Bad like the food at a pot luck at your workplace that people won't even make eye contact with , much less try....and it's YOUR supervisor that brought her " creation " in to share...
Normally , anyone who knows me knows that this has all the basics in the " Let's Entertain The Old Broad ."
1. Dragons...ok...ok....dinosaurs , but hey.......close enough. I am still waiting for the adaptation of Anne McCafffrey's Dragon Riders of Pern , long rumored to be a tv series. I love dragons, collected Musgraves for years and have suffered through some truly epic movies that were truly fucked up just on the promise of a dragon...yeah....sad. I'm even rooting for the dinosaurs to eat Will Ferrell in that remake of " Land of the Lost."
Run Dino...RUN !!!!!!!!!
Nope..not gonna cut it.
2. Vikings ...Aside from genetics...I have made the hubbs suffer through the movie " Vikings " with Richard Widmark and Sidney Portier ..yeah...it was better when I was younger . I tend to lean more towards the Celts and Pagans anyway....but still, I thought okay...overall the Norsemen are not generally associated with this genre other than that forgettable movie with Benjamin Bratt....I think the " Thirteenth Warrior"...Bleech.
Again , Nope...not gonna cut it.
3 . Ron Perlman....Yeah Vincent. Before he was " Hellboy " , he was " Vincent on " Beauty and The Beast.
4. John Hurt....I will watch anything this man does, period.
5. Jim Caviezel..." Count of Monte Cristo"..nuff said...own the DVD.
The pro's outweigh the cons and yet....
I know that I will never, ever hear the end of it if I order this one.
" Joe vs Volcano " bad.
Not enough alcohol on the planet bad.
Blessed Be .
Have a great week.