Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Dear Stupid Professional Personage
It has come to my attention that you suffer from some delusions as to the actual function of various Civil Service offices.
The ones that you questioned me on in particular close at 4: 30 p.m.
The office does not have late filing or a drop box.
They are not part of the local , state or federal judicial system .
They are not going to wait for your package to arrive.
Not because they are mean .
They are employee's who have worked their duly allotted hours and would like to embrace their own personal lives.
I don't care how big the client is or what the issue is.
I don't care that by the sheer will of your charm and vast experience that you feel entitled to supersede their office policies and the policies of the UNITED STATES CIVIL SERVICE.
If I in fact tell you that they close at 4: 30 , and it is actually 4: 24 p.m....don't question me.
The office you wanted this delivery sent to is across town , and it's raining.
There is no way on God's green Earth that I can get a package to 8701 S. Gessner in 6 minutes.
I cannot even guarantee that I can get it picked up by the courier service by 5 p.m.
I realize your need to question my answer to you regarding the above was completely appropriate and professional, since I have only been doing this for 27 years .
It was absolutely no trouble at all to call our courier service's dispatcher to confirm my answer to you since obviously you feel I have no credibility .
I deeply regret I could not change a government office's hours of operation for you .
If you feel some modicum of confidence that if allowed a second chance tomorrow , I could in fact complete this for you , please allow me the opportunity of serving you .
I look forward to it , I promise you , I really do.
Most Humbly,
No One Worthy Of Your Notice.


HubbleSpacePaws said...

But Aunty, perhaps you are reading this poor, poor professional personage all wrong.

Perhaps they *have* been noticing you and your ability to meet the impossible demands of others... and thought, with a little persuasion, you could do it for them, too.

Or perhaps they know of penchant for scifi/fantasy, and thought that, while you obviously keep your abilities under wraps, you could beam those documents over to said civil service office, if only they pushed a little.

Assholes do vex me sorely, too!

Aunty Pol said...

Oh Sistah Dear,

I had to tone that down...way the F down.

I came closer to grabbing my shit to git permanently than I can recall.

I scared a bestus gal pal with the depth of my anger when she crossed my path.

I apologized in person and on face book and while I do feel bad..I refuse to moderate rightous anger for any entity.

Tomorrow is another day and I have the ass hat's number.

Boo Yah

Aunty Pol said...

Hee Hee..I wubs using dem big ol words..

Modicum rocks

OXOXOX to you and the bebe's

HubbleSpacePaws said...