Wednesday, July 27, 2011

The Great Debate

I'm going to go out on a limb here.
I may lose some readers.


What ever.

The local radio station that SU and I listen to every morning has weekly moral dilemma questions..absurd..yes I know but they can and do make you think.

The question was:

" Is the trend towards businesses banning children in their establishments good or bad ?"

I first heard of this when Malaysia Air created this policy for it's ( I believe) first class passengers.

Ruh Roh .

My first thought was that this was a ill advised and short sighted move by a company that virtually ensured that they would lose money.

My second thought was " Their business...their policy."

I dismissed it as a quirk because I could only imagine the outcry if such a move as ever contemplated in this country.

Frank and Myrtle Fertile would scream blue bloody blazes that their spawn were of course the very model of propriety and modest behavior and thus exempted from this barbaric policy.

Ironically, the radio listeners response was , from what I could tell, in FAVOR or this kind of policy.

The polar exact opposite of what I had anticipated.


Now before I go any further, I must disclose that SU and I are NOT parents.

On the surface, a policy like this say in a fine dining establishment makes sense . No one wants to spend upwards of $100.00 or more for a dinner only to be driven insane by the rants of a toddler and the oblivion of the parents as their crotch spawn traipse gaily up and down the aisle.

Reality check:

MOST parents rarely get to go out for a grownup meal with real linens and a wine list for the first few years so the last thing that they are going to do is drag said spawn with them.

Other places were theaters ( a real big ass bitch of yours truly) , stores and so on..and this is where it gets iffy.

I disagree with this idea.

Lather .

Rinse .


I disagree with this idea.

If the little tax deductions are acting up and or out, let's be honest and lay the blame smack dab where it belongs :

On the shoulders of the adults that are raising them.

I won't limit this to the parents, I include Grandparents, older siblings, aunts , uncles, godparents and any other adult that has an active participation in the rearing of the tax deduction.

Children learn by observation and example. One of the biggest culprits is television followed closely by movies. Kids see t.v shows featuring smart aleck, mouthy, rude, obnoxious behavior that is either not dealt with or recognized as inappropriate by the adults in the show and more often than not , this same behavior is praised or rewarded as clever, precious and endearing.


A brat is a brat is a brat.

If you want your child to learn how to behave at least in public, TEACH THEM !

Take them to a restaurant at the appropriate age and show them how to be thoughtful of others and polite to those they are dining with.

If they begin to glide into entitled because I am a child mode, give them a quiet warning to cut that shit out or face the consequences.

If you don't know what consequences are , look it up !

Follow through.

If all else fails, pay the bill....TIP the waitress or waiter and leave.

Other patrons WILL thank you.

You cannot teach a child without an actual experience and any other concept is short sighted and just plain ignorant.

My parents made it abundantly clear that if our deportment ( another word sorely underused in modern society by the way ) was lacking or embarrassing in public..there would be consequences ..and they followed through.

On more than one occasion I have had to step up in public with friends and a rare stranger and stop their responsibility from injury to themselves or others.

I have no problem doing this in my own home.

My house , my rules.

I am not bothered by being the wicked witch or the bad guy at all.

I am not a hard ass or overly mean about it, I simply expect in my own home at least a degree of manners.

Thankfully, my great niece is being raised with parents that understand and agree with me on this because I would not ever hesitate for an instant to apply the same standard to Dakota as I have discussed in this post.

It is what it is, I am what I am.


Aunty Pol

1 comment:

HubbleSpacePaws said...

OMG, Woman!! I read this post the last time I was here, totally skipping the graphic. (OK, and I was also nodding my head and agreeing with the narrative).

But, back to the sign.

I, good (or at least decent) Sunday School Teacher that I was, put that very phrase (different graphic...puppy instead of kitten) up outside my classroom!

SS began at 9:45 was over at 10:45 (aka, between the 8:30 & 11:00 services). It is amazing how many parents dropped off their kids off at 9 and came back at... wait for it... NOON!

Now know, I do NOT have a problem with drop off kids. I was one!! And I met a lot of great people and have been goin' to Sunday meetin' ever since. I figure it this way... Drop off parents, you're doin' right by your kids and I hope you join us someday.

But 45 min early... and/or 75 min late????

Hello!!!! Whoever happens to stumble across your spawn, whom you brought to church almost an hour early, and we teachers, who feel honor bound to stay until you deign to pick them up, have a small problem with this. We won't abandon the fruit of your loins - why do you????

I did not berate the PUs when they finally arrived. The kids and I would sit and talk or play or craft under the sign until their PU decided they were done doing whatever they were doing. I'd greet them when they finally arrived, chit-chat some, smile, gesture in the general direction of the sign and say, "Next time," with a wink. I had few repeat offenders. ;-D But best, nobody left in a huff. The power of humor.

PS - Sis and BIL raised two kids who behaved well in public following the leave then, leave them behind method. Act up and we leave. Next time your sib gets to go, but you get to stay behind with the sitter from hell. Took a couple of times... but few repeat offenses after that.

Folks would actually compliment sis/BIL on their well behaved spawn... I suppose they were overcome with relief, after they realized they'd been seated next to a family with small younguns, and had been tensely expecting the worst.

And, it bears repeating - if you leave, TIP your waiter. You may not have gotten dinner, but the show was not enjoyable for the wait staff or anyone else.