I had an interesting conversation early this morning with my hairdresser . I got there very early and the shop was rather quiet. I've had Olivia do my hair for years to the point that she has in fact told me that if she catches wind of my using "Box Color" on my hair, she will hunt me down.
Gaia Bless Her.
She said that she has been running and staying in shape, monitoring her BP...and yet just does not feel right . " Really ?" says Moi and we begin to chat. Nothing drastic or dramatic..just blah and then some. Then a light went off in my head..and I asked her age...BINGO !
Olivia darlin..you are perimenopasal .
Sleep disruptions, changes in eating, concentration, too hot or cold....weepy...tired..., over emotional, listless..yup.
At 47, this is rather normal for the most of us.
And yet....we don't talk about it.
Not to our doctors unless there is another issue at hand, not our husbands, not our mothers or sisters...rarely to our girlfriends.
It's all a part of the normal life process. It is not a punishment or something dirty or shameful .
It just is.
We celebrate most facets of a young girls life.
Childhood birthday parties.
Teen years with proms or quinceneras .
High School graduations.
First jobs...first apartments.
Birth of grandchildren.
Somewhere along the line, we have gotten the idea that menopause is the end of life, our vitality and sexuality and allure are over. We are now to go sit in the corner of the cave like :
Every old crone before us and wait to dispense our wisdom if any or to take over the care of the children and the other ill or infirm within our family/tribe.
BULL SHIT !
It is simply the end of one chapter and the beginning of the next.
It is also one of the most liberating things I have gone through.
I went into surgical menopause at the age of 31.
No one at the time ( my doctor, the witch!) had bothered to tell me that since they were taking the only remaining non-functioning ovary that bippity boppity BOOM..menopause.
It was interesting at the age of 31.
It took a while to get the dosage and brand right for hormone replacement. And I can assure you, if I'd forgotten a dose, I knew it within hours. The mood swings were EPIC !
And yes...I had and still have hot flashes or as I call them " Power Surges."
I felt better after 2 1/2 weeks post surgery than I had in years.
I wanted to go dancing.
I was also by the way at 31 divorced and had by that point 5 miscarriages.
Two years later I met SU and we decided to marry.
Up until then I hadn't given it a lot of thought and to be honest , it did hurt a bit ( delayed reaction I believe) to realize that I was unable to have children with this new husband.
He, Bless him , was honest about the whole thing. He wasn't really up for Daddyhood. Really not interested and had no agenda or ticking clock.
We are superb cat parents, Godparents and Aunts and Uncles by the way .
Still, I am amazed at the feelings the word menopause generate within our gender.
When I hear of someone that I know who is having the hysterectomy or who now finds herself going down the on ramp of the Menopause Superhighway..if we are close ..I am the first one who picks up the phone and welcomes my new sister to the Sisterhood.
Ask me questions you don't want to ask a doctor or your mother.
That's what friends are for.
Don't be ashamed of the changes your body goes through as we age.
It's really an adventure after all.