One of the things I am prone to do is visit new blog sites. More often than not , I find them through the list of favorites of bloggers that I follow...it's like the Hansel and Gretel bread crumb trail at times and awfully entertaining.
The Restaurant Managers Rants led me to Aunty Becky over at Mommy Wants Vodka which in turn led me to The Blue Kimono.
Confused Yet ?
Good, let's carry on then.
At one of them was a list along the lines of :
" You know you're a grownup when..." and it got me to thinking.
I know of a young couple that is having a bit of a problem in their marriage. Neither wants to bend and they are both stubborn as the day is long. Counseling has been suggested, but according to one of the parties , their family " Does Not Do That ."
Short sighted ?
To be sure, but they are young.
I am close to one side of this marriage family wise and so the parent my age and I were e mailing about it all this morning , just a couple of Yentas in the mix.
Then it hit me...my own personal " You know you are a grownup when "
1. You realize that sometimes you just have to let your partner win in an argument or situation if for no other reason than the fact that fair is fair , rather than your old stand by " Well , that will freak their ass out ."
2. Suggesting counseling as an option is your first suggestion and not the last one.
3. It's okay to table an issue before the screaming match begins. IF it's important, it can be re-visited . If it's not important..who cares, let it go !
4. You tell yourself " Get over it or yourself" and you are okay with it .
5. It's rarely as dire as it seems at that moment as long as no one is bleeding and there is no need for a doctor , cop or priest.
6. If your marriage is worth fighting about, it is more than likely worth fighting for .
7. Control means more than winning a situation, it also means self control , having it and the decency to use it .
8. You don't always have the answers, much less the right one.
9. Sometimes your partner just needs to vent, it's not always about you .
10. IF it gets to a certain point...walk out of the room till things calm down...see # 9.
These are the things that my friend the parent and I know . We have learned them the hard way . The kids haven't been married but for a few years and there are some real issues that in a large part a matter of control. But as kids will, they aren't exactly willing to listen to their elders because " We don't understand, their whatever is special, one of a kind situation thingy, exclusive to them .....wah wah wah ."
You know you're a grownup when you listen to a friend , just to listen and you both know the above.
You also know that the kids will not listen because you didn't at their age and hopefully they will come to it on their own.
Either way, the grownups will get through it, we always do.