Todays guest poster is Sgt. Andy of the Patio Police . Take it away Andy.
" Ahem, cough..This is Sgt. Andy just in from patio patrol. All appears quiet after last nights shift. I did gain admission to the Palace for a brief stay and was again offered what the Queen's staff refer to as Bovine Wine . It was delicious . I did not gain an audience with the queen and only spotted some of the retainers on her staff. Apparently they have some security issues that they are reviewing and therefore do not have the time to schedule a proper audience . It is much the same for me on patio patrol , especially with the recent sightings of the terrorist group known as the Tree Rats. Recent intelligence reports indicate that the Tree Rats have had a successful recruiting drive and my own shifts may double in order to maintain the palace security . Negotiations with the Canine Commandos continue for their added support against further incursions from the Tree Rats . I happen to know that the Queens human retainers are not above offering bribes so that may induce the canines to cooperate .
Hopefully my application for a promotion to internal palace guard is still under consideration.
I understand that the review process is quite involved and there is some question as to my qualifications . I feel that I have gained one of the human attendents support. The one referred to as " Daddy " seems more pliable than the other human attendent. The female attendent known as " Mommy " may prove problematic and she has quite the reputation as far as having the human trait of what they refer to as stubbornness . I am a rather patient fellow , so I shall continue on and hope for the best.
Well, my shift on patrol is just about over, so I guess it's time to head to the Barracks.
Remember...be alert . Tree Rats are everywhere .
Sgt. Andy
Patio Patrol Unit # 1.
Friday, September 29, 2006
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Damn You Bravo Channel
Aunty Pol has yet another obsession . " Project Runway" on the Bravo Channel.
It began innocently enough on a quiet Sunday when Hisself was out playing goof. Having channel surfed my poor lil digits to the bone, I stumbled on a PR marathon . Shazam...backround noise as it were for the Shadout Mapes routine at la Casa. Friends and co-workers had raved about the show , using their secret language and references . " Santino ? " " Pure Crazy " . I usually ignored them as they ignored my raving about Battle Star Galactica , or worse still muttering and swearing as I'd sit and re-edit my resource sheets for the RPG and cursing the GM . I am sure they were as clueless about this , as I was about their shows. What evs.
Bravo is known for running a slew of eps on a Sunday before the new eps air.
On the second round of the same marathon, I started watching.
And thus did I create my own Doom.
I became a member of Team Angela - NOT !!!!!!!!!
I do know however what the hell a fleurchon is now . It's called the fabric flower that Angela ( Crazy Bizotch) put on anything and everything....including her own ass !
The premise of the show is quite simple . Take 15 wanna be fashionista's , give them an absurdly low amount of dead presidents, a challenge or a task to create a garment , and then critique it after a runway show.
Fine.
Fair Enough.
First off, the carrot is a spread in " Elle " magazine, $100,000.00 to launch their own line and a cutesy sports car.
A few of the first people to be voted off were so completely forgettable that I cannot recall their names, faces or creations.
Poor Malan . His challenge assisted by Bonnie the Bozo was to create a pageant gown for Tara Conner to wear in the Miss Universe pagent. Now maybe it's just old Pols view point, but seriously kids....if I were going to compete , I'd want to win....and nothing spells loser like hiring some Armani wanna be to design my gown. Malan was terribly sweet, and enough of a stand up guy to take the hit for his design as team captain. Buh Bye Malan. Saw that one coming. Get rid of the guy who actually had talent . And the ratings do what again ?????
One of my fav's ...Kayne ( The Queen of Oklahoma ) won that challenge and his gown was like buttah . I could have phoned that one it for jeebus sakes. How many times did he proclaim that the he had worked ( snerk) pageants for years honey and had two..not one , but two dress shops . But his personality came through as very sweet ( be nice) and genuine. I was truely sorry to see him get " Auf'd". Note to Kayne....Honey if you ever do make it..it's a Salon..not a shop ..m'kay ?
As with every show , you have people who every one just hates or is the Class Crazy ( Med's not kickin it ") who is one step away from referring to themselves in the third person. I think that those characters are the most fun to watch because the rest of the group that the CC is envolved with alternates between sheer panic ( OMG..what the F is he/she doing ) and complete entertainment doing impressions ( some dead on ) of the CC.
And then there is Angela ( Jubilee Jumbles) , queen of the ass roses. In one challenge, the afore mentioned pageant, she was teamed with Vincent Libretti . Yup. You guessed it, the Class Crazy.
Every one could see that Vinnie the CC was to be kind, nucking futts. Seriously . And this bizotch did just about everything in her power to undermine Vinnie. She acted like your kid bugging the shit out of you on a car trip. The more you ask you kid to knock it off....the more they do what is making you crazy . It should be noted however that in some families this is considered good training for marriage . Heh . I think she was genuinely suprised at the amount of sheer animosity the others felt for her . Yeah Angela, ass roses will pretty much unify a group. Just sayin .
Anyhoo, as the episodes continued, some people got " Auf'd" early and for reasons that were justified more often than not. Some of the eps were suprising . One of the guys got das boot from the shows itself for having pattern books in his room. Fair 'nuf. But hold on a second.
In the very first challenge, the victims...oops...designers had to grab what ever they could from the apartments they were staying in and stuff that gear in laundry bags in 15 minutes time. The gals were less messy than the boys were. The boys trashed their apartment like they were a Rock Band. Seriously trashed the crib . Now..bear with me. Jeffrey ( Is there a rehab for tatoo's ? ) stated that he was mollified to see that none of the stuff that had been trashed had been replaced. MORON . If you trash your bed, and leave it stripped to the bed slats, don't whine about it. There is a reason animals don't shit in their own nests....think about this between tatoo sessions, ok ? That being said, if one of the guys had those books, ....umm....how come no one spotted them till 2 or 3 episodes later ? Dude....there was no place to hide them. The apartment was TRASHED . Just wondering .
Angela ( Jubilee Jumbles ) and Vincent the CC got " Auf'd " and then invited back one more time. The rest of the designers were so completely " Oh shit....Noooooo" that they didn't make the attempt to hide it. LMAO .
And lets not forget Laura ( Skeletor) the " I am an architect from New York. I have a lot of things to say about her. First..woman...cover yourself. NO one and I mean NO ONE wants to see your boney ass sternum. Period. And just the thought of you being knocked up again with child number 6 makes me want to hoark. EWWWW. She was and is a bored Society Matron wanna be who thinks nothing of making the following remark about the newest hatchling she ' s gestating. " Just another one to throw on the pile. " Wire hangers anyone ? She did have her human moments until you realize that you can't make the above mentioned remark and them plead your belly when you get in over your head . I'm just sorry the damn dog didn't bite you in the earlier episode . Maybe there is however a lil giftie in your tote bag that you put the adorable dog in so you " Wouldn't Have to TOUCH IT."
Then there are the Judges.
Nina Garcia , the Editor from Elle is just plain mean. Pfffftttt.
Michael Kors is a hoot . Not so much I'm going to actually buy his fuggly ass shoes from Dillards , but a hoot none the less. He could however step away from such frequent mystic tan sessions. I assume that he gets a discount if he goes with his mommy , Joan but seriously . He's beginning to look like a sweet potatoe.
Neither guest judge Vera Wang or Diane Von Furstenberg have aged well . Damn..ladies get a friggan facial at least. You guys are making Yoko look good by comparison. Zak Posen is adorable. He reminds me of the Elf character Bernard in Tim Allen's " Santa Clause " movies, and I mean that in a good way.
Heidi Klum comes across as very sweet until you piss her " Auf" . Her glare could strip paint.
And then there is Den Mother , Tim Gunn. He's interesting and his critiques are well thought out in the developement process at Parsons. Some like Michael were smart enough to listen . Others like Vincent the CC ( a basket is not a hat Vincent , it's a basket) did not.
It's down to the final four I believe, Michael , Uli and Laura and Jeffrey .
The season finale is in a couple of weeks , and then there is the free gift with purchase. The reunion show. Heh. I'm taping that bad boy.
And best of all ?
HOT DAMN !
The sixth season of Smallville starts tonight, the second season of Dr. Who starts tomorow and Battle Star Galactica is starting the third season a week from tomorrow .
Life is good at the Casa.
Have a great weekend...really.
Ciao,
Aunty Pol
It began innocently enough on a quiet Sunday when Hisself was out playing goof. Having channel surfed my poor lil digits to the bone, I stumbled on a PR marathon . Shazam...backround noise as it were for the Shadout Mapes routine at la Casa. Friends and co-workers had raved about the show , using their secret language and references . " Santino ? " " Pure Crazy " . I usually ignored them as they ignored my raving about Battle Star Galactica , or worse still muttering and swearing as I'd sit and re-edit my resource sheets for the RPG and cursing the GM . I am sure they were as clueless about this , as I was about their shows. What evs.
Bravo is known for running a slew of eps on a Sunday before the new eps air.
On the second round of the same marathon, I started watching.
And thus did I create my own Doom.
I became a member of Team Angela - NOT !!!!!!!!!
I do know however what the hell a fleurchon is now . It's called the fabric flower that Angela ( Crazy Bizotch) put on anything and everything....including her own ass !
The premise of the show is quite simple . Take 15 wanna be fashionista's , give them an absurdly low amount of dead presidents, a challenge or a task to create a garment , and then critique it after a runway show.
Fine.
Fair Enough.
First off, the carrot is a spread in " Elle " magazine, $100,000.00 to launch their own line and a cutesy sports car.
A few of the first people to be voted off were so completely forgettable that I cannot recall their names, faces or creations.
Poor Malan . His challenge assisted by Bonnie the Bozo was to create a pageant gown for Tara Conner to wear in the Miss Universe pagent. Now maybe it's just old Pols view point, but seriously kids....if I were going to compete , I'd want to win....and nothing spells loser like hiring some Armani wanna be to design my gown. Malan was terribly sweet, and enough of a stand up guy to take the hit for his design as team captain. Buh Bye Malan. Saw that one coming. Get rid of the guy who actually had talent . And the ratings do what again ?????
One of my fav's ...Kayne ( The Queen of Oklahoma ) won that challenge and his gown was like buttah . I could have phoned that one it for jeebus sakes. How many times did he proclaim that the he had worked ( snerk) pageants for years honey and had two..not one , but two dress shops . But his personality came through as very sweet ( be nice) and genuine. I was truely sorry to see him get " Auf'd". Note to Kayne....Honey if you ever do make it..it's a Salon..not a shop ..m'kay ?
As with every show , you have people who every one just hates or is the Class Crazy ( Med's not kickin it ") who is one step away from referring to themselves in the third person. I think that those characters are the most fun to watch because the rest of the group that the CC is envolved with alternates between sheer panic ( OMG..what the F is he/she doing ) and complete entertainment doing impressions ( some dead on ) of the CC.
And then there is Angela ( Jubilee Jumbles) , queen of the ass roses. In one challenge, the afore mentioned pageant, she was teamed with Vincent Libretti . Yup. You guessed it, the Class Crazy.
Every one could see that Vinnie the CC was to be kind, nucking futts. Seriously . And this bizotch did just about everything in her power to undermine Vinnie. She acted like your kid bugging the shit out of you on a car trip. The more you ask you kid to knock it off....the more they do what is making you crazy . It should be noted however that in some families this is considered good training for marriage . Heh . I think she was genuinely suprised at the amount of sheer animosity the others felt for her . Yeah Angela, ass roses will pretty much unify a group. Just sayin .
Anyhoo, as the episodes continued, some people got " Auf'd" early and for reasons that were justified more often than not. Some of the eps were suprising . One of the guys got das boot from the shows itself for having pattern books in his room. Fair 'nuf. But hold on a second.
In the very first challenge, the victims...oops...designers had to grab what ever they could from the apartments they were staying in and stuff that gear in laundry bags in 15 minutes time. The gals were less messy than the boys were. The boys trashed their apartment like they were a Rock Band. Seriously trashed the crib . Now..bear with me. Jeffrey ( Is there a rehab for tatoo's ? ) stated that he was mollified to see that none of the stuff that had been trashed had been replaced. MORON . If you trash your bed, and leave it stripped to the bed slats, don't whine about it. There is a reason animals don't shit in their own nests....think about this between tatoo sessions, ok ? That being said, if one of the guys had those books, ....umm....how come no one spotted them till 2 or 3 episodes later ? Dude....there was no place to hide them. The apartment was TRASHED . Just wondering .
Angela ( Jubilee Jumbles ) and Vincent the CC got " Auf'd " and then invited back one more time. The rest of the designers were so completely " Oh shit....Noooooo" that they didn't make the attempt to hide it. LMAO .
And lets not forget Laura ( Skeletor) the " I am an architect from New York. I have a lot of things to say about her. First..woman...cover yourself. NO one and I mean NO ONE wants to see your boney ass sternum. Period. And just the thought of you being knocked up again with child number 6 makes me want to hoark. EWWWW. She was and is a bored Society Matron wanna be who thinks nothing of making the following remark about the newest hatchling she ' s gestating. " Just another one to throw on the pile. " Wire hangers anyone ? She did have her human moments until you realize that you can't make the above mentioned remark and them plead your belly when you get in over your head . I'm just sorry the damn dog didn't bite you in the earlier episode . Maybe there is however a lil giftie in your tote bag that you put the adorable dog in so you " Wouldn't Have to TOUCH IT."
Then there are the Judges.
Nina Garcia , the Editor from Elle is just plain mean. Pfffftttt.
Michael Kors is a hoot . Not so much I'm going to actually buy his fuggly ass shoes from Dillards , but a hoot none the less. He could however step away from such frequent mystic tan sessions. I assume that he gets a discount if he goes with his mommy , Joan but seriously . He's beginning to look like a sweet potatoe.
Neither guest judge Vera Wang or Diane Von Furstenberg have aged well . Damn..ladies get a friggan facial at least. You guys are making Yoko look good by comparison. Zak Posen is adorable. He reminds me of the Elf character Bernard in Tim Allen's " Santa Clause " movies, and I mean that in a good way.
Heidi Klum comes across as very sweet until you piss her " Auf" . Her glare could strip paint.
And then there is Den Mother , Tim Gunn. He's interesting and his critiques are well thought out in the developement process at Parsons. Some like Michael were smart enough to listen . Others like Vincent the CC ( a basket is not a hat Vincent , it's a basket) did not.
It's down to the final four I believe, Michael , Uli and Laura and Jeffrey .
The season finale is in a couple of weeks , and then there is the free gift with purchase. The reunion show. Heh. I'm taping that bad boy.
And best of all ?
HOT DAMN !
The sixth season of Smallville starts tonight, the second season of Dr. Who starts tomorow and Battle Star Galactica is starting the third season a week from tomorrow .
Life is good at the Casa.
Have a great weekend...really.
Ciao,
Aunty Pol
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Frolicing with the Full Moon....
Within thirty minutes of getting into the office , trusty side kick " Kick " ( How original , I know ....STFU ) and I began to notice that we were in the midst of what we call " Flying Monkeys ." Aka ...the chimp squad from the WOZ . It's a certain emotional level that is akin to Peter Finch's brilliant speech in " Network " . People who are normally civil ( or what passes for here at the office ) were surley, short tempered.....no.....wait...that's my normal crew . The peeps I refer to are those who are usually somewhat under the proverbial radar . I know it's a short week with the holiday and all, but this is a problem again...why ????? I was agog that some of the placid posse were exhibiting what could almost be classified as personalities . I kid you not. Spines were grown , cats danced with dogs, SU re-grew hair...you get the idea . Then I began to notice that the placids now with spines began to just flat out act stupid. They began to panic . " If so and such comes in will you let me know ? " DUH ! Some got the look, some got the benefit of the doubt , ( hey...I CAN be nice, I got a great new hair cut..razor cut even) and the rest got ingnored . Ignored/Ignorant...works for me . And on it went. " I need to get this to the IRS !" Reply " Snookims , it's 4: 19 , and they close at 4 : 30 . Unless you can sprout wings or a scud missle out of your ass fergitit . Hint....try getting it to me in a reasonable manner next time. " Then of course Snookims is all...buh buh buh.....my attorney....." . Me : " You may feel free to quote my answer to you back to them , verbatim ." Nothing like working here with a full moon.
Snookims and Friends forget that I have been doing this since the Punnic Wars and By Gawd, I do know WTF I am doing. Nothing chaps my ass faster ( and if the ass gets any bigger , it gets it's own zip code ) that for Snookims and Friends to act as if I don't know my job or are unable to do it . Unlike others, I show the hell up. YOU know who you are .
SU is playing cards tonight, thank you Jeebus and I have a date with Andy and a highball.
Can't wait for the bitching that will ensue when Snookims and Friends realize it's a full work week . I shall take great personal delight in reminding them that there are a lot of others out there who would love to have a job. Don't think I won' t do it either .
Rant Over .
Take Care,
Ciao
Aunty Pol .
Snookims and Friends forget that I have been doing this since the Punnic Wars and By Gawd, I do know WTF I am doing. Nothing chaps my ass faster ( and if the ass gets any bigger , it gets it's own zip code ) that for Snookims and Friends to act as if I don't know my job or are unable to do it . Unlike others, I show the hell up. YOU know who you are .
SU is playing cards tonight, thank you Jeebus and I have a date with Andy and a highball.
Can't wait for the bitching that will ensue when Snookims and Friends realize it's a full work week . I shall take great personal delight in reminding them that there are a lot of others out there who would love to have a job. Don't think I won' t do it either .
Rant Over .
Take Care,
Ciao
Aunty Pol .
Friday, September 01, 2006
Not a total waste.....
It was one of those Fridays approaching a holiday weekend that I'd been predicting all week. GRRRR....some people are so set in their ways that you could phone it in.
I will point out also that in comparison, yesterday was worse . By 9 : 30 a.m. , I felt the need to go down the street to the local Randalls and get a buggy full of raw meat to fling about. Somebody pee'd in the collective karmic pool up here at the office . Almost every one was " Wah...wah...wah....but I don't want to work tomorrow " . Fine...schedule it off. Call in sick.....STFU for crissake . GET OVER IT . I would have liked it off to, but it wasn't gonna happen, and no ...I don't get to leave early . I am the last Mohican , working a full day. That is my job . Period .
Today the usual. People who come back from lunch bail at 2 . Standard behavior. " Buh Bye now...have a great weekend.
But the bright spot .
Wheeee
For the last two weeks, we have been doing a fund raiser thingy for the Houston SPCA . There are two huge ass boxes in the kitchen chock full of stuff. There was also a bake sale today ( Food People...Food in the Kitchen.....run for it ) . Our Intranet daily memo has been running photos of pets and their parents for the last two weeks . " Match the pet to the parent ." If you pick and want to change..costs a buck to do so. All in all I have heard we raised in cash alone either $500.00 or $700.00 . Not too shabby people..not to shabby at all .
I am going to focus on the good and forget the 'tude . That is until the next holiday, which is Turkey Day and Moi will be visiting the cutest baby girl in the known universe.
" Buh Bye Now.."
Irony.
Gotta dig it.
Have a safe holiday...really...all y'all can do it .
Ciao
Aunty Pol .
I will point out also that in comparison, yesterday was worse . By 9 : 30 a.m. , I felt the need to go down the street to the local Randalls and get a buggy full of raw meat to fling about. Somebody pee'd in the collective karmic pool up here at the office . Almost every one was " Wah...wah...wah....but I don't want to work tomorrow " . Fine...schedule it off. Call in sick.....STFU for crissake . GET OVER IT . I would have liked it off to, but it wasn't gonna happen, and no ...I don't get to leave early . I am the last Mohican , working a full day. That is my job . Period .
Today the usual. People who come back from lunch bail at 2 . Standard behavior. " Buh Bye now...have a great weekend.
But the bright spot .
Wheeee
For the last two weeks, we have been doing a fund raiser thingy for the Houston SPCA . There are two huge ass boxes in the kitchen chock full of stuff. There was also a bake sale today ( Food People...Food in the Kitchen.....run for it ) . Our Intranet daily memo has been running photos of pets and their parents for the last two weeks . " Match the pet to the parent ." If you pick and want to change..costs a buck to do so. All in all I have heard we raised in cash alone either $500.00 or $700.00 . Not too shabby people..not to shabby at all .
I am going to focus on the good and forget the 'tude . That is until the next holiday, which is Turkey Day and Moi will be visiting the cutest baby girl in the known universe.
" Buh Bye Now.."
Irony.
Gotta dig it.
Have a safe holiday...really...all y'all can do it .
Ciao
Aunty Pol .
Thursday, August 24, 2006
A Suprise Guest
Ahem....Aunty Pol has invited yours truely as her first guest blogger . Let's get the introductions under way. My name is Munchkin and I am the Queen of the Palace , though others might disagree. Recently, with my superior kitteh brain power I deduced that " Aunty Pol" is in fact the secret identity of my human staff member known as Mommy . Now, I have taken great pains and time to train my staff in all things serving Moi . I will not allow disloyalty, unless it it produces enough income to buy me more toys and treaties . It should be enough that I allow Mommy to share " my " bed. I certainly am generous enough to allow Mommy to clean the Palace and tend to my creature comforts . Why , Moi even allowed Mommy and that big fellah who answers to Daddy too bring in entertainment for me . After all , as the Queen, I should be allowed to torture..oops...educate my subjects as I see fit. The younger girls have made acceptible handmaidens and that male twerp ..Loki I think it is. Well, the poor dude obviously has had a blow to the head, what's wrong with him filling the position of Court Jester ? Problem solved. And don't get Moi started on the Palace Guard . Sargent Andy does a good job with the anti squirrel troops but I don't believe he is ready for promotion to inside the Palace just yet.
Now, consider yourselves blessed with the presence and beauty that is simply known as Moi , I have an appointment at the spa.
Now, consider yourselves blessed with the presence and beauty that is simply known as Moi , I have an appointment at the spa.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Poor Andy..LOL
Poor lil Dude . Man..is he gonna be po'd. His Daddy, SU stepped up to the plate and called Petsmart - Not yesterday to get the lil dude re-fixed. Now , SU in his infinite wisdom ( calm down dear, I'm not indulging you beyond a certain point here ) used his usual wacky sense of humor in dealing with the highly skilled crew at Petsmart-Not . Andy goes in on Sunday and home the next day. SU 'splained the situation, blah blah blah . Amazingly enough a short time later the Chief Vet called back and said that given the situation....Andy's surgery was on the house . HUZZAH ! This poor boy is the most operated on cat on the planet. We did not anticipate a rebate or reduction of any kind because that's just not the kind of luck SU and Aunty Pol have.....trust me here . Remember the warrenty on Pearl...exactly .
It finally rained at the Seitch last night . Jeebus, did we ever need it. Of course the Prince of the Patio still hates to get his uddies ( ok..trans : paws) wet so we do the usual and move the kibble and water to the coffee table on the patio . Yes, Pol has a coffee table at the Ice House . Man, if you have never checked out the stuff made out of woven PVC that looks like wicker ...check that stuff out Maynard. It is fab as far as the cleaning, comfies to sit / sprawl in ....and looks great . Hey...Andy likes it and it has thus far survived his claws. And that says a lot. Anyhoo....yes..I have decorated thed patio as a room, and once I get the deck up, SU says he won't barf if I get one of those really kewl outdoor rugs.....wheeeeeeee . I don't know if Andy has experienced wind just before the rain like we had last night, I sorta doubt it. He flipped out. He ran and ran and ran all over the yard, chasing floating stuff.....then stops and sits....then zooms again . For 45 minutes he played Speed Racer . I laughed my ass off. I did put some nip in his condo so he would be okay if he hunkered down there . SU said that he was there at the door as usual this a.m. looking for his brecky . Smart boy. Has a trained staff of 2 .
Other than that , it's that time of year when stuff just slows to a crawl. Kids are back in school , we are all watching the Gulf , and it's hard to believe that it's been a year since Katrina .
A year.
Of course people who fled the storm for here are up in arms because the local Energy Robber Barons say that they are going to cut power to accounts/customers that have not transfered the accounts to their own names. Sounds clear enough . Simple to do, all it really requires is a JOB .
Nothing fancy , they still pay for flipping burgers . Not a lot, but hey...There are a lot of people that fled NOLA for here that have found jobs, homes, schools for their kids and which Kroger they like the best. This is what grown people do . And I do understand that for some of our " Guests" that are older, infirm or have medical issues that it takes longer. Fine...this is why I contribute to United Way . When SU was unemployed in April , he hustled his ass 90 to nuthin getting apps out there . The TEC only requires one app a day . He averaged three to four . And it didn't take a DAMN YEAR people . It's time to suck it up folks, get a job, a grip and carry on .
Just Sayin....
Rant over.
Have a good week....really..all y'all can do it .
Ciao,
Aunty Pol .
It finally rained at the Seitch last night . Jeebus, did we ever need it. Of course the Prince of the Patio still hates to get his uddies ( ok..trans : paws) wet so we do the usual and move the kibble and water to the coffee table on the patio . Yes, Pol has a coffee table at the Ice House . Man, if you have never checked out the stuff made out of woven PVC that looks like wicker ...check that stuff out Maynard. It is fab as far as the cleaning, comfies to sit / sprawl in ....and looks great . Hey...Andy likes it and it has thus far survived his claws. And that says a lot. Anyhoo....yes..I have decorated thed patio as a room, and once I get the deck up, SU says he won't barf if I get one of those really kewl outdoor rugs.....wheeeeeeee . I don't know if Andy has experienced wind just before the rain like we had last night, I sorta doubt it. He flipped out. He ran and ran and ran all over the yard, chasing floating stuff.....then stops and sits....then zooms again . For 45 minutes he played Speed Racer . I laughed my ass off. I did put some nip in his condo so he would be okay if he hunkered down there . SU said that he was there at the door as usual this a.m. looking for his brecky . Smart boy. Has a trained staff of 2 .
Other than that , it's that time of year when stuff just slows to a crawl. Kids are back in school , we are all watching the Gulf , and it's hard to believe that it's been a year since Katrina .
A year.
Of course people who fled the storm for here are up in arms because the local Energy Robber Barons say that they are going to cut power to accounts/customers that have not transfered the accounts to their own names. Sounds clear enough . Simple to do, all it really requires is a JOB .
Nothing fancy , they still pay for flipping burgers . Not a lot, but hey...There are a lot of people that fled NOLA for here that have found jobs, homes, schools for their kids and which Kroger they like the best. This is what grown people do . And I do understand that for some of our " Guests" that are older, infirm or have medical issues that it takes longer. Fine...this is why I contribute to United Way . When SU was unemployed in April , he hustled his ass 90 to nuthin getting apps out there . The TEC only requires one app a day . He averaged three to four . And it didn't take a DAMN YEAR people . It's time to suck it up folks, get a job, a grip and carry on .
Just Sayin....
Rant over.
Have a good week....really..all y'all can do it .
Ciao,
Aunty Pol .
Monday, August 21, 2006
Monday Monday.....La La La
Well lets see....It's a Monday you bettcha . School is back on so all of the parents at the office are just slightly losing their minds over getting schedules back on, SU has to pay attention to the speed zones, which he is suprisingly good at and I need to haul the keester out 10 minutes earlier to avoid the usual traffic bullshit....good luck there Pol....LOL .
As far as the weekend went..it was a whole lotta nada . IT's still hotter than hell down here but we did get a speck of rain. The Prince of the Patio was very po'd and we moved his food and water. Not a lot of rain mind you, just enuf for the skeeters . Of course SU watched golf but did do a bunch of laundry which always helps. We'd stayed up late the night before watching movies so I was ZZZZZZZZZZ . I thought about cleaning the casa.....and thought some more. Every once and a while you simply have to give yourself permission to be lazy. Permission granted Pol...veg away . None of my peeps were on line as the game is on a break of sorts. The Mighty GM is making some changes so we are all...Neh...what evs. Of course you know who played golf on Sunday....again what evs. AMC was playing all fo the Jaws Movies in order so Pol was a happy gurl. It's hard to imagine that when that movie came out, I had been already married three years to He Who Also Shall Not Be Named. I found myself laughing out loud at the clothes worn in the original Jaws Movie..Jeebus H Tap Dancing Christ...we thought that was attractive ???????????? I'd like to think it was that we were young and dumb...but hell...we were just flat out dumb. And do not get me started on the fact that " Skinny Jeans" are back in. In my orgy of channel surfing, I ran across HSN...admit it..all y'all have seen it too. Anyhoo...it struck me as freakin hillarious that they were selling " Skinny Jeans" in sizes 4 to 22. Now Gals..lets be honest..if you wear a size 22, you have no business in " Skinny Jeans ".... EVER !
I guess it's time for the 80's to roll around again......and trust me here. If you didn't look like Heather Locklear then....hang it up now. We all know people who have no concept of age appropriate , and I say live and let live. More for Pol to ridicule...you know I am gonna do it.
Got a couple of new photo's of the cutest child on the planet..what a cutie. From what I hear she can say Mamamamamamama and Dadadada..what a gifted child. Okay..I will stop now.
Pol has been very bad on family e mails so that is todays project. Mea Culpa , Mea Culpa.
Have a great week....really...try it.
Ciao,
Aunty Pol .
As far as the weekend went..it was a whole lotta nada . IT's still hotter than hell down here but we did get a speck of rain. The Prince of the Patio was very po'd and we moved his food and water. Not a lot of rain mind you, just enuf for the skeeters . Of course SU watched golf but did do a bunch of laundry which always helps. We'd stayed up late the night before watching movies so I was ZZZZZZZZZZ . I thought about cleaning the casa.....and thought some more. Every once and a while you simply have to give yourself permission to be lazy. Permission granted Pol...veg away . None of my peeps were on line as the game is on a break of sorts. The Mighty GM is making some changes so we are all...Neh...what evs. Of course you know who played golf on Sunday....again what evs. AMC was playing all fo the Jaws Movies in order so Pol was a happy gurl. It's hard to imagine that when that movie came out, I had been already married three years to He Who Also Shall Not Be Named. I found myself laughing out loud at the clothes worn in the original Jaws Movie..Jeebus H Tap Dancing Christ...we thought that was attractive ???????????? I'd like to think it was that we were young and dumb...but hell...we were just flat out dumb. And do not get me started on the fact that " Skinny Jeans" are back in. In my orgy of channel surfing, I ran across HSN...admit it..all y'all have seen it too. Anyhoo...it struck me as freakin hillarious that they were selling " Skinny Jeans" in sizes 4 to 22. Now Gals..lets be honest..if you wear a size 22, you have no business in " Skinny Jeans ".... EVER !
I guess it's time for the 80's to roll around again......and trust me here. If you didn't look like Heather Locklear then....hang it up now. We all know people who have no concept of age appropriate , and I say live and let live. More for Pol to ridicule...you know I am gonna do it.
Got a couple of new photo's of the cutest child on the planet..what a cutie. From what I hear she can say Mamamamamamama and Dadadada..what a gifted child. Okay..I will stop now.
Pol has been very bad on family e mails so that is todays project. Mea Culpa , Mea Culpa.
Have a great week....really...try it.
Ciao,
Aunty Pol .
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
More Dibs and Dabs
Well thus far it has been a good day. BN and wife sent recent photos of the cutest child on the planet, and I have been grinning all day . Ah....the mighty power of an infant . I would be the first one to tell you that I am completely prejudiced, and that only her Nana and my Brother could top me....but honest to God, she is the Gerber baby. Ask any of my gal pals here in the office...yes..the bug's mug made it all the way around. I can't wait till Turkey time to get to actually see said wonder of the world. Hopefully SU will be able to get the time off, but one way of the other Aunty Pols got a road trip. True, the back will be ouchy after the drive, but it is all worth it. Hisself will mutter about the cold as he always does, and I will fuss at him ( yes dear, I know you are reading this...and you will behave in front of the kids or so help me.....I know where the golf clubs are ) . I haven't seen the nephew since my Grandfather's funeral so it will be a suprise to see him all grown . He's a good guy , his parents did a good job raising him. I will also get to meet his wife which is cool. You know you are getting older when the nephews are married and all their friends refer to you as M'am . Bit of a let down that, but it comes with the turf . Also explains all the little aches and pains that creep up . Heh...middle freakin age. The weird part is that I am actually enjoying parts of it. Like the part where you realize that so much of what used to bug the krep out of you are just drek. Or when the younger set start the " I know it all" and you can simply look them in the eye and go " Oh Jeebus, I have shoes older than you..give me a break." Or that you hope to high hell you weren't as arrogant , and are chagrined to realize you most likely were. Yeah parents o'mine....I CAN hear you laughing.
As long as the Bug doesn't think of me or remember me like I remember my Great Aunt Elna...( Shudder) , all will be right in Pols world.
On the home front...The king of the patio is a happy lil camper . His daddy built him a real scratching post which he will hopefully prefer to the furniture . I am a tad curious as to why we had the rope in the garage, but what evs. He has his set pattern, he knows when we are due to come home and is not above voicing his displeasure when we are late. He seems to get along with the NG's puppies, and the birds are an endless source of fascination. Fortunately his tags on his collar make enough noise that they can vamoose . He has his perimeter, and the neighbors report that he does not wander....so all is good. Poor babydude is a bit hot being an outside kitteh, so I have a fan on for him for a bit, and he's become accustomed to to ice cubes in his bowl . Little kitten coctails.....I'm not kidding...LOL .
SU has passed the probationary period and is now a full time employee . He was confident of this and I was too..but Pol has seen both sides . Now we get to sort out ppo vs hmo and all of that crap. Wheeeeeeeeeeeee. We went to a gathering at one of SU's co-workers , a send off for a couple of co-workers that are moving on. One young pup is going to the HPD Academy and the other is going to go work with her BF/Fiancee/Whatevs. Nice gal . I had heard all about these co-horts of SU's for ages, and they are very nice , down to earth regular folks. They call him " Pop " which is hysterical, but then again he is one of the oldest there . I think it's rather like my office, if I don't give you a nickname..I don't like you . I'm funny that way.
Please Lord....some rain ??????
Have a great day...really...I dare ya .
Ciao,
Aunty Pol
As long as the Bug doesn't think of me or remember me like I remember my Great Aunt Elna...( Shudder) , all will be right in Pols world.
On the home front...The king of the patio is a happy lil camper . His daddy built him a real scratching post which he will hopefully prefer to the furniture . I am a tad curious as to why we had the rope in the garage, but what evs. He has his set pattern, he knows when we are due to come home and is not above voicing his displeasure when we are late. He seems to get along with the NG's puppies, and the birds are an endless source of fascination. Fortunately his tags on his collar make enough noise that they can vamoose . He has his perimeter, and the neighbors report that he does not wander....so all is good. Poor babydude is a bit hot being an outside kitteh, so I have a fan on for him for a bit, and he's become accustomed to to ice cubes in his bowl . Little kitten coctails.....I'm not kidding...LOL .
SU has passed the probationary period and is now a full time employee . He was confident of this and I was too..but Pol has seen both sides . Now we get to sort out ppo vs hmo and all of that crap. Wheeeeeeeeeeeee. We went to a gathering at one of SU's co-workers , a send off for a couple of co-workers that are moving on. One young pup is going to the HPD Academy and the other is going to go work with her BF/Fiancee/Whatevs. Nice gal . I had heard all about these co-horts of SU's for ages, and they are very nice , down to earth regular folks. They call him " Pop " which is hysterical, but then again he is one of the oldest there . I think it's rather like my office, if I don't give you a nickname..I don't like you . I'm funny that way.
Please Lord....some rain ??????
Have a great day...really...I dare ya .
Ciao,
Aunty Pol
Monday, August 07, 2006
One little word .
It's stunning how one little six letter word can send you straight into a tail spin. SU says that he got some sleep last night , which I doubt. I surely did not . Mr. Alarm clock and I have a date...every hour on the hour. Today is gonna be a very long day .
We found out yesterday early in the evening that SU's brother in law has cancer. Prostate cancer. The bone and liver scans look fine, and I don't know if the report on the Lymph nodes is back or not. So off again to MD Anderson, which thankfully is the best cancer treatment center in the country if not the world. Our family knows this place all too well . Prostate cancer is not rare, and in some ways one of those cancers that some think of as routine. Yes, I know the definition of cancer all too well. But you cannot dismiss any cancer as routine, it never is. The fear never is routine, the what if's pile up and for just a moment the world stops spinning. Hopefully , they caught it early, but it's a waiting game....and it's never easy. SU and I will go about our business, trying not to dwell on the possibilities , and sleep deprivation.
We found out yesterday early in the evening that SU's brother in law has cancer. Prostate cancer. The bone and liver scans look fine, and I don't know if the report on the Lymph nodes is back or not. So off again to MD Anderson, which thankfully is the best cancer treatment center in the country if not the world. Our family knows this place all too well . Prostate cancer is not rare, and in some ways one of those cancers that some think of as routine. Yes, I know the definition of cancer all too well. But you cannot dismiss any cancer as routine, it never is. The fear never is routine, the what if's pile up and for just a moment the world stops spinning. Hopefully , they caught it early, but it's a waiting game....and it's never easy. SU and I will go about our business, trying not to dwell on the possibilities , and sleep deprivation.
Friday, August 04, 2006
Jesus H Tap Dancing Christ
Now I have really seen it all. I come back from a lunch date with a cheese burger...and what to my wondering eyes does appear ????????????? A woman sitting on the sofa . Nada new there. The new part was the female fruit of her loins..............ON ROLLER BLADES IN THE RECEPTION AREA.....ON OUR ITALIAN MARBLE FLOORS.
Dearhearts..I am not making this up...I am clever ..but not this much. After I pick up my jaw...I realize that this is an accident just waiting to happen....oh jeebus . Knowing that the ptb's that I would normally go to were not here today , I went to a partner that I could trust to take it a bit further. Mission accomplished . I don't want to be a meanie..well I do , but not over something that is beyond the scope of that which is in my domain. Everyone at the office is just freaking out in the usual passive agressive way...Can't wait to relate this to SU..
Have a great weekend
Ciao
Aunty Pol
Dearhearts..I am not making this up...I am clever ..but not this much. After I pick up my jaw...I realize that this is an accident just waiting to happen....oh jeebus . Knowing that the ptb's that I would normally go to were not here today , I went to a partner that I could trust to take it a bit further. Mission accomplished . I don't want to be a meanie..well I do , but not over something that is beyond the scope of that which is in my domain. Everyone at the office is just freaking out in the usual passive agressive way...Can't wait to relate this to SU..
Have a great weekend
Ciao
Aunty Pol
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Gawd , I hate it when I am right.
As predicted, the back went all kablooey on ol Pol here. If you have never been prone to back problems, count your blessings. Seriously ! I knew I should have not lifted those boxes, I knew it as I did it , but it was one of those things . Next stop....back spasms. The kind that make you sweat from the pain...Note to self..Lesson learned. It will get better through time, meds and me not being this stupid again.
On the lighter side, it appears that the beloved nephew and his family have bought themselves a condo.........wooo hoooo. I hope that is is wonderful for them and the cutest baby in the known universe . I also hope that they can post some photo's on their blog.
I read an article in todays WSJ about a 2 minute video on YouTube.com that is evidently an unsubtle jab at Big Al ( " I invented the Internet" ) Gore. Seems that the individual claiming credit is not some slacker with more time than carreer options. Oh no dearhearts....it was created by DCI Groups, a beltway PR group that has among other clients, Exxon Mobile Corp.
A coinkydinky ?? Pol thinks not . Just goes to show you ...stuff can be traced to it's original source, so remember that when you give in to the impulse to flame some hapless tool that has just pissed you off.
Dear Lord, please send some rain...and I don't mean tropical storm Chris. My buddy Cons down in Bermuda says they aren't sure if they are gonna get the hit or not, but it appears to be heading towards the Gulf. Yeah, we are watching this after the events of a year ago. Guess it's time to review the old hurricane kit. And time to work on Andy not freaking out if he has to come inside....small adventures...joy joy.
Have whatever the hell kind of day you want to ....really.
Ciao
Aunty Pol
On the lighter side, it appears that the beloved nephew and his family have bought themselves a condo.........wooo hoooo. I hope that is is wonderful for them and the cutest baby in the known universe . I also hope that they can post some photo's on their blog.
I read an article in todays WSJ about a 2 minute video on YouTube.com that is evidently an unsubtle jab at Big Al ( " I invented the Internet" ) Gore. Seems that the individual claiming credit is not some slacker with more time than carreer options. Oh no dearhearts....it was created by DCI Groups, a beltway PR group that has among other clients, Exxon Mobile Corp.
A coinkydinky ?? Pol thinks not . Just goes to show you ...stuff can be traced to it's original source, so remember that when you give in to the impulse to flame some hapless tool that has just pissed you off.
Dear Lord, please send some rain...and I don't mean tropical storm Chris. My buddy Cons down in Bermuda says they aren't sure if they are gonna get the hit or not, but it appears to be heading towards the Gulf. Yeah, we are watching this after the events of a year ago. Guess it's time to review the old hurricane kit. And time to work on Andy not freaking out if he has to come inside....small adventures...joy joy.
Have whatever the hell kind of day you want to ....really.
Ciao
Aunty Pol
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Dibs and Dabs ~ Pt. 2
Lets see....Got through a Monday I swear to God was a full moon...not. Baby sat a group in from Salt Lake, Utah " guesting " here for a deposition . The usual we do as a part of the M....Affiliates. This group suprisingly is a very nice group , polite, friendly and grateful for any and all help. Who Knew ? This may be one of the signs of the " End of Time ." And for the record..no, I haven't read any of the " Left Behind " series. I have friends/co-workers who have...to each his own . I'd rather read " Dune ." I generally speaking try to live by a very simple set of rules . One of them is , " You can CHOOSE to be happy." It's a simple thing really, but boy , does it mess people up. Seriously. It messes with their lil pea heads. I'm not saying that Ol Pol here is morphing into Pollyanna , or that I don't lose my temper....have we met ? What I am saying is that to a certain degree, we all have the choice to be happy or angry . I am trying to focus on the former as opposed to the latter . There are however some people here at the office who are just not happy unless they have pissed in your pool. After you've cleaned it. Now this presents a variety, nay a plethera of responses . You can reply in kind, thus lowering yourself to their standards...you can ignore them which infuriates them and ratchets up their need to raise the ante...OR you can simply be polite about the whole thing...smile....and proceed with that which you are being paid for. The later is the hardest to achieve and the most fun to watch. It is human nature to strike back when wounded, we need to realize that . Overcoming the impulse to do this is called being either polite...or in the work place..employed.
On a practical note, today was not the day to wear a white linen jacket. The guests are gone but for various, legitimate reasons, the office services staff is at 50 % so Ol Pol is the one who had to pack up the boxes...grab the luggage dolley, schlep 2 boxes to the circle drive for the court reporter, come back , pack up 2 sets of attorneys boxes....prep for Fed Ex, get account # 's for said boxes and get this crap to the lobby for pick up tonight. It's a damn good thing I have a cheap yet good dry cleaner 2 minutes from the casa...sheesh. In a perfect world, I'd get flowers from one or both of the guest firms........riiiiiight. Must have sustained a blow to the head.
Jeebus..I want to go home naow.
Watch...tomorrow I will have back problems...bet on it.
Have whatever kind of day you want to have.
Ciao
Aunty Pol
On a practical note, today was not the day to wear a white linen jacket. The guests are gone but for various, legitimate reasons, the office services staff is at 50 % so Ol Pol is the one who had to pack up the boxes...grab the luggage dolley, schlep 2 boxes to the circle drive for the court reporter, come back , pack up 2 sets of attorneys boxes....prep for Fed Ex, get account # 's for said boxes and get this crap to the lobby for pick up tonight. It's a damn good thing I have a cheap yet good dry cleaner 2 minutes from the casa...sheesh. In a perfect world, I'd get flowers from one or both of the guest firms........riiiiiight. Must have sustained a blow to the head.
Jeebus..I want to go home naow.
Watch...tomorrow I will have back problems...bet on it.
Have whatever kind of day you want to have.
Ciao
Aunty Pol
Monday, July 31, 2006
Again....WHY ?
Warning.........
Pol here has had only about 4 hrs sleep...so if this goes somewhat askew....heh heh.
Why are some people held to different standards than others ? Mel Gibson gets a DUI and goes off on a rant that is beyond distasteful. I have some questions that are whirling in the lil noggin.
1. Why the hell does this merit the press coverage it does ? More than the usual gossipy blurb on the inside of the local rags front page, this merits a third of the page 3 column entry . Again , why ?
2. Hollyweird claims that Mr. Gibson may have destroyed his career with this latest stunt. To which I reply, " Bullshit !" . His carreer will be just fine and dandy as long as his next vehicle makes a huge ass profit for one and all. To claim otherwise is so completely absurd that it defies logic. This is the way it is, was and ever shall be. Every single time some famous/infamous personna commits what many consider carreer suicide, they routinely cry " Mea Culpa " and move on to better things. Just ask Ellen Degeneres . Do you really think a major credit card company would use her in a commercial if they were so " concerned " about her gender preferrence ? I didn't think so either.
3. Don't blame the booze Mel. You may have expressed words that are so completely rude, ill thought AND just down right mean that if I was your Mother, wife or child..I'd have smacked you up side the head. The booze had very little to do with it , asshat. It did not enable your racist remarks. Your racist views are a direct projection of being a racist....period. So much for your faith sustaining you. HAH !
4. Lastly...why does anyone care that some ignorant , balding middle aged movie star open his yapper and inserts both feet ? Why does this take up space in the media to this extent ? I doubt that the police made his remarks up, after all as he claims..." He owns Malibu ." Careful Mel, my God may not be a vengeful God, but just in case....house...mudslide....oops....Ya never know.
Kinda hard now to deny your fathers Holocost comments isn't it ?
Ironic.....I think not.
Be glad you aren't related to this prince among men . I sure am.
Have a good day...really.
Ciao,
Aunty Pol
Pol here has had only about 4 hrs sleep...so if this goes somewhat askew....heh heh.
Why are some people held to different standards than others ? Mel Gibson gets a DUI and goes off on a rant that is beyond distasteful. I have some questions that are whirling in the lil noggin.
1. Why the hell does this merit the press coverage it does ? More than the usual gossipy blurb on the inside of the local rags front page, this merits a third of the page 3 column entry . Again , why ?
2. Hollyweird claims that Mr. Gibson may have destroyed his career with this latest stunt. To which I reply, " Bullshit !" . His carreer will be just fine and dandy as long as his next vehicle makes a huge ass profit for one and all. To claim otherwise is so completely absurd that it defies logic. This is the way it is, was and ever shall be. Every single time some famous/infamous personna commits what many consider carreer suicide, they routinely cry " Mea Culpa " and move on to better things. Just ask Ellen Degeneres . Do you really think a major credit card company would use her in a commercial if they were so " concerned " about her gender preferrence ? I didn't think so either.
3. Don't blame the booze Mel. You may have expressed words that are so completely rude, ill thought AND just down right mean that if I was your Mother, wife or child..I'd have smacked you up side the head. The booze had very little to do with it , asshat. It did not enable your racist remarks. Your racist views are a direct projection of being a racist....period. So much for your faith sustaining you. HAH !
4. Lastly...why does anyone care that some ignorant , balding middle aged movie star open his yapper and inserts both feet ? Why does this take up space in the media to this extent ? I doubt that the police made his remarks up, after all as he claims..." He owns Malibu ." Careful Mel, my God may not be a vengeful God, but just in case....house...mudslide....oops....Ya never know.
Kinda hard now to deny your fathers Holocost comments isn't it ?
Ironic.....I think not.
Be glad you aren't related to this prince among men . I sure am.
Have a good day...really.
Ciao,
Aunty Pol
Thursday, July 27, 2006
La Cage a Feline
Well gang...just when I thought it could not, nay would not get any weirder at the Casa............
Hee Hee
This past Saturday I was out on the patio ( it's only the Ice House at night when the lights are on...hope that clears THAT up ..) with " Annie" doing my usual chillin...SU and I have a couple of those funky ass canvas and metal framed chairs courrtesy of the neighbor gals....and Annie like to sleep in one like it's a hammock....on her back. There I was giving her head noogies and chin rubs when I look towards her feet...and OMG......She's a HE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ROTF ..I kid all y'all not.
There he was in all his glory........To say that I freaked out would be the understatement of the year. That's like saying Andrea Yates was just having a " bad day". I just was stunned. I didn't say anything to SU as he would really wonder about his wifey poo....and the following day had almost convinced myself that it was one of those really vivid dreams .
Monday after work, as per norm, he went out to feed " Annie ". He then picked her/him up and was holding her/him in his arms like a bebe...on his/her back. I prance out there and grab a lil footie and ask..." Honey..whazzat "? He almost dropped the cat. Having verified that I am not insane......we both realize that Annie....is ANDY .
All of a sudden it dawn on us...the huge feet...the fearlessness with the NG's puppies.....the fact that the ladies of the Casa were curious and yet Loki hissed at him.......Wegotsababyitsaboy.
The larger issue is........WHY THE F DIDN'T PETSMART SEE THAT WHEN THEY HAD HIM/HER IN SURGERY LAST MONTH TO NEUTER ???????????????????????????
I'm serious people ! Why didn't the Vet notice ? It's true that at the time , Andy wasn't old enough to have visible evidence of said equipment....but really people....this is a bit much.
His Daddy is going to deal with them, because we still have to have him fixed.
If Momma goes in there, I am mad enough to strip paint off the walls. No...I won't cuss but I will verbally eviscerate them.
Count on it.
PS A Big Tejas Shout Out to you know who for the better title.
Have a good day.....really....go for it.
Ciao
Aunty Pol
Hee Hee
This past Saturday I was out on the patio ( it's only the Ice House at night when the lights are on...hope that clears THAT up ..) with " Annie" doing my usual chillin...SU and I have a couple of those funky ass canvas and metal framed chairs courrtesy of the neighbor gals....and Annie like to sleep in one like it's a hammock....on her back. There I was giving her head noogies and chin rubs when I look towards her feet...and OMG......She's a HE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ROTF ..I kid all y'all not.
There he was in all his glory........To say that I freaked out would be the understatement of the year. That's like saying Andrea Yates was just having a " bad day". I just was stunned. I didn't say anything to SU as he would really wonder about his wifey poo....and the following day had almost convinced myself that it was one of those really vivid dreams .
Monday after work, as per norm, he went out to feed " Annie ". He then picked her/him up and was holding her/him in his arms like a bebe...on his/her back. I prance out there and grab a lil footie and ask..." Honey..whazzat "? He almost dropped the cat. Having verified that I am not insane......we both realize that Annie....is ANDY .
All of a sudden it dawn on us...the huge feet...the fearlessness with the NG's puppies.....the fact that the ladies of the Casa were curious and yet Loki hissed at him.......Wegotsababyitsaboy.
The larger issue is........WHY THE F DIDN'T PETSMART SEE THAT WHEN THEY HAD HIM/HER IN SURGERY LAST MONTH TO NEUTER ???????????????????????????
I'm serious people ! Why didn't the Vet notice ? It's true that at the time , Andy wasn't old enough to have visible evidence of said equipment....but really people....this is a bit much.
His Daddy is going to deal with them, because we still have to have him fixed.
If Momma goes in there, I am mad enough to strip paint off the walls. No...I won't cuss but I will verbally eviscerate them.
Count on it.
PS A Big Tejas Shout Out to you know who for the better title.
Have a good day.....really....go for it.
Ciao
Aunty Pol
Monday, July 17, 2006
It's a Monday Here Gang
I hads to laugh last night as SU and I watched the umpteenth remake of a movie...this time " King Kong." Now don't get me wrong, I am as much in favor of a good action flick as the next person...but this..ummmm...by the end of the 3 hour tour..oops film...I am going Woo Hoo...go Monkey go Monkey....heee heeee..driving SU right outta the room.
Mission accomplished.
Just heard they are proposing a re-make of " Cool Hand Luke."
That is just wrong peeps............WRONG ! WRONG ! WRONG ! WRONG !
Had the usual blah weekend. Pulled all of the Mexican Heather out of the beds, crowding my roses so we all know that I will be pulling that shit forever more. Annie has discovered the delights of chasing the water from the sprinkler. " Run , Zoom, leap..run somemore..oh wait..that is fun....wheeeeeeeeeee...look Momma....!!!!!!!!! What's that in your mug ? Coffee ? Um...what's that ? Face in mug....Bleech. Funny Kitteh.
SU and Moron and the usual co-horts played goof yesterday. That is not a typo btw...the way they play it at times....goof. At least SU has the common sense to limit the beer when the heat index is 105. Yeah for Gatoraide. Less could be said for the Moron. But that's his wifey poo's problem . Remember..Mrs. Moron is the rocket scientest who said that she was going to sue Woodrows..aka the office for putting a fire hydrant in their parking lot...in such an inconvenient place that she backs over it...fubaring her van thus denying her the pleasure of being part of the evac line on the freeway outta H town last summer with Katrina and such....I am not kidding here peeps. There is a reason I can her other half the Moron .
It's a Monday all right. Not that I had any particular high hopes for the day...it's hotter than ...wait for it.........Satans Underoos for $200.00 Alex...and I l knows by the end of the day that I WILL have a migraine . I have taken the meds..but there are some days they don't work . Sigh..oh crap..sorry..need to send Brudder e mail...sigh.
Have a great day....really...try it.
Ciao
Aunty Pol
Mission accomplished.
Just heard they are proposing a re-make of " Cool Hand Luke."
That is just wrong peeps............WRONG ! WRONG ! WRONG ! WRONG !
Had the usual blah weekend. Pulled all of the Mexican Heather out of the beds, crowding my roses so we all know that I will be pulling that shit forever more. Annie has discovered the delights of chasing the water from the sprinkler. " Run , Zoom, leap..run somemore..oh wait..that is fun....wheeeeeeeeeee...look Momma....!!!!!!!!! What's that in your mug ? Coffee ? Um...what's that ? Face in mug....Bleech. Funny Kitteh.
SU and Moron and the usual co-horts played goof yesterday. That is not a typo btw...the way they play it at times....goof. At least SU has the common sense to limit the beer when the heat index is 105. Yeah for Gatoraide. Less could be said for the Moron. But that's his wifey poo's problem . Remember..Mrs. Moron is the rocket scientest who said that she was going to sue Woodrows..aka the office for putting a fire hydrant in their parking lot...in such an inconvenient place that she backs over it...fubaring her van thus denying her the pleasure of being part of the evac line on the freeway outta H town last summer with Katrina and such....I am not kidding here peeps. There is a reason I can her other half the Moron .
It's a Monday all right. Not that I had any particular high hopes for the day...it's hotter than ...wait for it.........Satans Underoos for $200.00 Alex...and I l knows by the end of the day that I WILL have a migraine . I have taken the meds..but there are some days they don't work . Sigh..oh crap..sorry..need to send Brudder e mail...sigh.
Have a great day....really...try it.
Ciao
Aunty Pol
Friday, July 14, 2006
What in the Who ??????????????????????
I normally don't pay more than a second thinking about all of the weirdness that endears this city to my evil little brain....really..I don't.
But.
I've been trying to get the little gray cells wrapped about the recent comments of Rev. Bill Lawson. I am sure that his daughter, Melanie ( I am NOT a Diva) Lawson is some where in town , clutching a double de-fat latte moaning " Oh dear Gawd ..Daddy just stop "
You see the normally articulate Reverend Lawson is exhibiting symptoms of a blow to the head in his remarks at Ken Lay's memorial service . Reverend Lawson compared Kenny Boy to ( in no particular order) ..
1. Dr. King
2. Jesus
3. JFK
4. James Byrd,Jr.
" They were vilified in life but became heroes in death " .
A direct quote.
WTF ????????????????????????????????
For those pondering the identity of James Byrd, Jr....
Mr . Byrd had the unfortunate condition of being black. Now before you all rear up at me ...let me finish...m'kay ?
Mr. Byrd was the man in Jasper , Texas who was abducted by three thugs, chained to the back of a pick up truck and dragged until his body parts were scattered. Apparently , the only thing about Mr. Byrd that offended the three " gentlemen" was the fact that he was black.
To compare the king of the Robber Barons to the victim of a lynching is beyond absurd . It is a slap in the face of humanity and added insult to the Byrd family.
Rarely have I ever been so nauseated .
Gonna be a long day kids.
Aunty Pol
But.
I've been trying to get the little gray cells wrapped about the recent comments of Rev. Bill Lawson. I am sure that his daughter, Melanie ( I am NOT a Diva) Lawson is some where in town , clutching a double de-fat latte moaning " Oh dear Gawd ..Daddy just stop "
You see the normally articulate Reverend Lawson is exhibiting symptoms of a blow to the head in his remarks at Ken Lay's memorial service . Reverend Lawson compared Kenny Boy to ( in no particular order) ..
1. Dr. King
2. Jesus
3. JFK
4. James Byrd,Jr.
" They were vilified in life but became heroes in death " .
A direct quote.
WTF ????????????????????????????????
For those pondering the identity of James Byrd, Jr....
Mr . Byrd had the unfortunate condition of being black. Now before you all rear up at me ...let me finish...m'kay ?
Mr. Byrd was the man in Jasper , Texas who was abducted by three thugs, chained to the back of a pick up truck and dragged until his body parts were scattered. Apparently , the only thing about Mr. Byrd that offended the three " gentlemen" was the fact that he was black.
To compare the king of the Robber Barons to the victim of a lynching is beyond absurd . It is a slap in the face of humanity and added insult to the Byrd family.
Rarely have I ever been so nauseated .
Gonna be a long day kids.
Aunty Pol
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
If I beat my head on my desk , will Workman's Comp cover it ?
After all the fun yesterday, I thought surely today would be better....yeah..I admit it . The air quality down here is pure La La Land. I guess this beats all of the rain that we've been having and SIL..I swear I would send you some if I could ...honest hon . But the headaches are just the same...daily pounding , incessant sinus kick your ass headaches . Now before any one suggests going to Marcus Welby, hold up . Been there. Done that. Trust me here. ANY one who knows me , knows how I feel about F'g Dr's . The only time I have ever gone willingly is back when I broke my wrist and elbow in a fantastic display of grace ala marble floors. I suspect that underlying the agony of that trip in the Nissan was the purely selfish hope of some really good meds. " Oh Mommy...wow...colors....wheeeee ." And of course it was a double hairline fracture of both wrist and elbow which could not be casted . Between my left hip and right arm , I'M A WALKING TALKING BAROMETER ~! Given that I live in an area that watches the Gulf and knows when the really bad part of the 'cane sesason is..it's more fun than watching paint dry ..Har.
So take one daily dose of Desi Arnaz playing Babaloo ..off key no less ..add a neurotic attorney in deposition and this is pretty much my day thus far. I like the attorney in question, but he gets himself so wound up that he does it to himself. " Yes Sir...I can get this copied for you . " " Lunch Order Sure .." " Why do I need a list of the attorneys and their sides and the client/witness ?" " Well Sir...I'd rather not have you ream my ass out in your stridently fundamentalist way if I can help it, and I am sure you can understand why Attorneys from that other joint might want to be seperated from our clients/expert witnesses. Yes, Mr Wound To Tight has a serf..oops..legal assistant but she poor thing also has 2 or 3 associate bebe attorneys , a paralegal in addition to MR . WTT .
And then there is the fact that ol Pol here has been here since the Punic Wars and these Yutz's know that I know what to do , when to do it, how to do it and where to hide the corpse. OF course such ability is never recognized. Why would it be , when we the indentured are so profoundly grateful of the 3 % raise we get annually. Plus the summer bonus...taxed of course.
Usually I have the good graces to be aware of my fortunes, and yes I did go through a month of hell in April with SU and that fiasco. And I am grateful that the summer bonus paid for Munchkins dental surgery.....so I blog here n there and remind myself of my daily Mantra :
" We live in a democracy, we do not work in one."
Now , where the hell is that Voodoo Doll I have....hee hee
Yes..I really have one.
You can't be suprised , can you ?
Home now....it's official ...we are weird. SU is in the kitchen baking from scratch cookies. Watching a program on PBS..Einstein and Quantum ( sp..whatever) Mechanics and I am here. Spent the usual hour with the orphan on the patio. Gave the puppies next door their treats..and of course Madame had to have one. I won't tell her they are dog treats if all y'all don't.....shhhhh.
LMAO ROTF..he brought her home and I am the one that spends time with her every night after work and on the weekends.
All y'all saw that one coming didn't ya..go ahead , admit it. I think it's a hoot. She will bite him , but not her Momma...no sir..I don't think so.
Have whatever the hell day/evening you want...I'm having Jack Daniels .
Aunty Pol.
So take one daily dose of Desi Arnaz playing Babaloo ..off key no less ..add a neurotic attorney in deposition and this is pretty much my day thus far. I like the attorney in question, but he gets himself so wound up that he does it to himself. " Yes Sir...I can get this copied for you . " " Lunch Order Sure .." " Why do I need a list of the attorneys and their sides and the client/witness ?" " Well Sir...I'd rather not have you ream my ass out in your stridently fundamentalist way if I can help it, and I am sure you can understand why Attorneys from that other joint might want to be seperated from our clients/expert witnesses. Yes, Mr Wound To Tight has a serf..oops..legal assistant but she poor thing also has 2 or 3 associate bebe attorneys , a paralegal in addition to MR . WTT .
And then there is the fact that ol Pol here has been here since the Punic Wars and these Yutz's know that I know what to do , when to do it, how to do it and where to hide the corpse. OF course such ability is never recognized. Why would it be , when we the indentured are so profoundly grateful of the 3 % raise we get annually. Plus the summer bonus...taxed of course.
Usually I have the good graces to be aware of my fortunes, and yes I did go through a month of hell in April with SU and that fiasco. And I am grateful that the summer bonus paid for Munchkins dental surgery.....so I blog here n there and remind myself of my daily Mantra :
" We live in a democracy, we do not work in one."
Now , where the hell is that Voodoo Doll I have....hee hee
Yes..I really have one.
You can't be suprised , can you ?
Home now....it's official ...we are weird. SU is in the kitchen baking from scratch cookies. Watching a program on PBS..Einstein and Quantum ( sp..whatever) Mechanics and I am here. Spent the usual hour with the orphan on the patio. Gave the puppies next door their treats..and of course Madame had to have one. I won't tell her they are dog treats if all y'all don't.....shhhhh.
LMAO ROTF..he brought her home and I am the one that spends time with her every night after work and on the weekends.
All y'all saw that one coming didn't ya..go ahead , admit it. I think it's a hoot. She will bite him , but not her Momma...no sir..I don't think so.
Have whatever the hell day/evening you want...I'm having Jack Daniels .
Aunty Pol.
Monday, July 10, 2006
Oh Jeebus H ....It's a Monday and then some
The very last friggan thing I personally need on a Monday is some yahoo photographer up here in my face setting up his Jimmy Olson cub reporter gear.....waiting for some of our " demure " attorneys to assemble for mug shots.
KILL ME NOW !
First of all.....people please..........it's a monday . Why in the name of all things sacred did you decide to do this on a Monday. Half you lot are busy borrowing my visine because you simply HAD to watch the world cup. LIKE YOU F'G Care.....Not ! This is for ad space that we probably paid for in Texas Lawyer . How modest of us . We cannot keep decent associate here ( I miss you Marlon ) and the staff attitude is...well....look up attitude...but we can waste time and money over this bullshit.............GAH . Oh shit....hee hee...Jimmy Olson is now giving directions that sound like the hokey pokey...this is insanely funny now..or the migraine meds are kicking in..your pick. Hee
___________________________________________________________________
Another week of rain..god I don't know if I can take much more. The SIL says that they need it up yonder when she lives and if I could I would send her some.....It's great for the yard...the hydra's love it and Annie is adjusting to being a flying Wallenda...for an out door Kitteh she certainly has become the " Feetsies Wet...Oh Hell No " kinda kitteh..LOL..
CAN WE GO HOME NAOW ?????????????????????????????????????????????
KILL ME NOW !
First of all.....people please..........it's a monday . Why in the name of all things sacred did you decide to do this on a Monday. Half you lot are busy borrowing my visine because you simply HAD to watch the world cup. LIKE YOU F'G Care.....Not ! This is for ad space that we probably paid for in Texas Lawyer . How modest of us . We cannot keep decent associate here ( I miss you Marlon ) and the staff attitude is...well....look up attitude...but we can waste time and money over this bullshit.............GAH . Oh shit....hee hee...Jimmy Olson is now giving directions that sound like the hokey pokey...this is insanely funny now..or the migraine meds are kicking in..your pick. Hee
___________________________________________________________________
Another week of rain..god I don't know if I can take much more. The SIL says that they need it up yonder when she lives and if I could I would send her some.....It's great for the yard...the hydra's love it and Annie is adjusting to being a flying Wallenda...for an out door Kitteh she certainly has become the " Feetsies Wet...Oh Hell No " kinda kitteh..LOL..
CAN WE GO HOME NAOW ?????????????????????????????????????????????
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
The Ultimate Irony
Well kids, just when I think I can't be surprised anymore..............yup. Breaking news that former Enron robber Baron Ken Lay died of a heart attack in Aspen Colorado was a jaw dropper. First of all, the confirmation that he actually had a heart was noted...then the irony that he managed to survive the trialapalooza here in town and hit the big dirt nap out of state was food for more than a bit of thought. Here in H Town we will prepare for the media juggernaut that is looming as the " Media" swarms in to cover all of the varied reactions. I am charitable enough to feel for Ken Lay's family, I know what it is to lose a father . But I can bet with a Certainty that he went the opposite direction that my late, beloved Father did . And there is some justice in that.
______________________________________________________________________
Happily Ms. Munchkin did well with her dental surgery ....$$$$$$$$ not so bad and she has yet to do the sneezies since . I really think that she didn't have allergies as much as the problems that can happen with sinus's and teeth problems . Makes sense that it could happen in felines as well as humans.....and I speak from literal experience. The rest of the feline front is happy also to note that she did return after being carted off in the " Box of Death " as SU and I dubbed the cat carrier. Yes it's morbid , but it helps get through those times when the ticket is one way and your heart is broken. At least I can save on the new scars that come with trying to force a pill down Munchkins throat . Miss Annie is the Queen of Sheba on the patio with her condo and has been introduced to the wonders of catnip.....everybody wang chung tonite ! She has gotten used to the rain at this point which is fortunate as we are going to have it all week. Sigh....oh the headache's will be plenty...I can feel it already.
___________________________________________________________________
I don't know about anybody else but I was perfectly happy to have a rainy 4'th of July. TNT ran a full day marathon on " Law and Order" , and wonder of wonders...some of the eps were new to Moi. Now I remember why I loved that damn'd show so much.....RIP Jerry Orbach. The rain also reduced the amount of fireworks that the little terrorists in our neighborhood could set off. Now don't get me wrong...I love a good fireworks display .....but not at 2 friggan a.m. You can 't throw a rock up or down FM 1960 and not hit a fireworks stand. I am especially impressed with the logic of putting up said fireworks stands at the gas station. I always envision that scene in the Birds where Tippy Hedron and others try to tell the moron at the gas station not to light his smoke while standing in gasoline . Heh ! The problems with the firecrackers et. al is that usually down here we are hot and dry enough by the 4'th that the fire hazzard is a real issue. Especially with those scrubby ass east Texas Pines that you cannot excape...oh well. And where the Hell in the TV schedule did the powers that be list " Yankee Doodle Dandy ?" I don't have many taditions , but some are set in stone. IF it's Christmas , I HAVE to watch "White Christmas ." IF it's the 4'th of July , I HAVE to watch " Yankee Doodle Dandy ." Period....not negotiable....step away from the remote dear . I don 't mess with you during the Ryder Cup do I ? Mess with me and that too will change.
Have what ever the Hell kinda day you want to .....really...this ones on me.
Ciao,
Aunty Pol
______________________________________________________________________
Happily Ms. Munchkin did well with her dental surgery ....$$$$$$$$ not so bad and she has yet to do the sneezies since . I really think that she didn't have allergies as much as the problems that can happen with sinus's and teeth problems . Makes sense that it could happen in felines as well as humans.....and I speak from literal experience. The rest of the feline front is happy also to note that she did return after being carted off in the " Box of Death " as SU and I dubbed the cat carrier. Yes it's morbid , but it helps get through those times when the ticket is one way and your heart is broken. At least I can save on the new scars that come with trying to force a pill down Munchkins throat . Miss Annie is the Queen of Sheba on the patio with her condo and has been introduced to the wonders of catnip.....everybody wang chung tonite ! She has gotten used to the rain at this point which is fortunate as we are going to have it all week. Sigh....oh the headache's will be plenty...I can feel it already.
___________________________________________________________________
I don't know about anybody else but I was perfectly happy to have a rainy 4'th of July. TNT ran a full day marathon on " Law and Order" , and wonder of wonders...some of the eps were new to Moi. Now I remember why I loved that damn'd show so much.....RIP Jerry Orbach. The rain also reduced the amount of fireworks that the little terrorists in our neighborhood could set off. Now don't get me wrong...I love a good fireworks display .....but not at 2 friggan a.m. You can 't throw a rock up or down FM 1960 and not hit a fireworks stand. I am especially impressed with the logic of putting up said fireworks stands at the gas station. I always envision that scene in the Birds where Tippy Hedron and others try to tell the moron at the gas station not to light his smoke while standing in gasoline . Heh ! The problems with the firecrackers et. al is that usually down here we are hot and dry enough by the 4'th that the fire hazzard is a real issue. Especially with those scrubby ass east Texas Pines that you cannot excape...oh well. And where the Hell in the TV schedule did the powers that be list " Yankee Doodle Dandy ?" I don't have many taditions , but some are set in stone. IF it's Christmas , I HAVE to watch "White Christmas ." IF it's the 4'th of July , I HAVE to watch " Yankee Doodle Dandy ." Period....not negotiable....step away from the remote dear . I don 't mess with you during the Ryder Cup do I ? Mess with me and that too will change.
Have what ever the Hell kinda day you want to .....really...this ones on me.
Ciao,
Aunty Pol
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Pets, Vets and Cha Ching $$$$$$
Well the weekend thus far has been busy as the title implies.
Munchkin went to the vet this morning. She's been sneezing and sounded a bit congested so off she went. She has allergies. I was fearful of kennel cough and what that could mean as I know that congestion can lead to a variety of kidney related problems so I am relieved that over all she is fine...except that she has a bad tooth . We can't schedule that surgery for a cpl of weeks as she had her rabies booster today but that's on the list. She also got a pawdicure on the back tootsies so she is a happy gurl. I have tried to clip nails on my own and really have no need for a new set of scars .
Annie has her vanity tag now so if she ever wanders off the rez....Annie has discovered the sheer delight of tormenting the pups next door. Here mere presence sets off the bark a thon but I think that when every one gets used to each other it will calm down.
SU discovered the cluster F**k that happens when you go to Wally World for an oil change. The usual joint's credit card machine was kaoput so he opted for WW.
Huge mistake...take a good book..you're gonna be a while .
The rest of the day is nail appt for Moi....JC Penny's for a skivvie run and errands.
Ain't it a glam life Aunty Pol has ?
Have a great weekend..
Aunty Pol
Munchkin went to the vet this morning. She's been sneezing and sounded a bit congested so off she went. She has allergies. I was fearful of kennel cough and what that could mean as I know that congestion can lead to a variety of kidney related problems so I am relieved that over all she is fine...except that she has a bad tooth . We can't schedule that surgery for a cpl of weeks as she had her rabies booster today but that's on the list. She also got a pawdicure on the back tootsies so she is a happy gurl. I have tried to clip nails on my own and really have no need for a new set of scars .
Annie has her vanity tag now so if she ever wanders off the rez....Annie has discovered the sheer delight of tormenting the pups next door. Here mere presence sets off the bark a thon but I think that when every one gets used to each other it will calm down.
SU discovered the cluster F**k that happens when you go to Wally World for an oil change. The usual joint's credit card machine was kaoput so he opted for WW.
Huge mistake...take a good book..you're gonna be a while .
The rest of the day is nail appt for Moi....JC Penny's for a skivvie run and errands.
Ain't it a glam life Aunty Pol has ?
Have a great weekend..
Aunty Pol
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
