Thursday, August 11, 2011

the bitchy waiter: Lesson #352: Don't Exaggerate to Your Waiter

the bitchy waiter: Lesson #352: Don't Exaggerate to Your Waiter: "Customers are notorious for exaggerating their situation to make it seem like it is much worse than it really is. For example, when someone ..."

Go ahead and read this post, I'll wait.

Okay then.

If you are not laughing out loud, you have found this blog by mistake , and are automatically given dispensation if it is in fact your first time.

If you are not laughing out loud and it is not your first time, take heed. I doubt you will find anything to amuse you here so toddle on your merry way then.

Now that the riff-raff and the touristas are gone, let's continue.

I love Bitchy Waiter so much that if he was not gay and I was not sterile, I would willingly have his babies..sorry is what it is.

And I can relate to the exageration there. I deal with this every mother loving day.I get this from clients all MOFO day long.

For example:

1. " But I've left numerous messages for so and so and their assistant and no one has called me back ."

Answer: " No sir or madame you have not .Calling back in one minute after I have put you through indicates quite plainly that you left no simply hung up and called back again.

We have caller ID and I do recognize your number....again.

Variation # 1 : " I have left numerous messages for ( insert department name here) and no one has called me back ."

Answer : See above

Variation # 2 " I really need to talk to ( insert name here ) about an urgent matter."

Answer : " Of course you did . The fact that it is somewhere between noon and 1 pm is no excuse for some poor hapless employee to have any sort of expectation of an actual lunch hour , regardless of any Labor Law that mandates one shall be afforded the employee.

2. " I just spoke to so and so and they told me to come on in. "

Answer : " Oh really ? I had no idea that the court rules had changed and that the Judge now allows cell calls to be both made and responded to ."

Variation # 1 " I just spoke to so and so and they told me to come on in "

Answer : " Oh praise Jeebus, they must have gotten the transporter beam repaired. Even though so and so is actually in ( Insert some place not here ) ..I am sure that he or she will hustle right back at break neck speed to see to all of your needs.

3. " My appointment with so and so is at 10 am."

Answer: " Since it's only 11:15, I am sure you can be seen straight away since you JUST got here."

Yeah..There is a reason that at times I still think of the clients as customers and not clients...They behave no better at my place of work than they do at Bitchy's.

At least tomorrow is Friday !


Aunty Pol

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